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I feel like giving up.......


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#1 OFFLINE   atldeville

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 07:00 PM

this is soo much more than i thought..... im at a stage in life where i want relaxation and fun, and when i play the guitar, it ruins my day and get me depressed. i hate to sound this way, but i have to speak the truth...the technical part of this is hard and i feel like i wasting time..

#2 OFFLINE   gasbag

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 08:12 PM

First, take this all with a grain of salt, I am just kind of rambling here.

Yes, the technical aspects are difficult. More so for some than others. For me they are almost impossible.

Are you taking lessons? If not, maybe a teacher can turn on a light bulb for you and show you why so many love playing.
At the very least they could help you make progress and maybe get passed this stumbling block you are stuck on.
Do you have friends that play or are learning? Get together and have an informal session for learning and experimenting. Exchange ideas and work on problem areas. Also, reinforce the positives. Every time something goes right give yourself an atta-boy. When I finally get something down I will play it several times over just to hear it again. Then I will do it again later. Then every day after that.............. My wife often wonders what the "yahoooo" was all about coming from the upstairs music room.

Having said that, if playing the guitar made me miserable, I would put it down and forget it.
What is the purpose of forcing yourself to do something you dislike?
There is no law that says everyone must like the same thing.

Just do not get disgusted because you can't play like Tommy Emmanuel in 6 months. Those guys eat, breathe, and think guitars 24 hours a day. It's all they do.

Like I said, I am never going to be very good, but just a glimmer of a song coming out of a guitar I am playing is enough for me. Yes I get frustrated, even angry at myself at times but for whatever reason I can't put the darn thing down.
2 + 2 = 5 for very large amounts of 2

#3 OFFLINE   Kirk Lorange

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 08:54 PM

Don't give up!

#4 OFFLINE   atldeville

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 09:16 PM

thanx for both the replies. ive wanted to play for a while, and was very happy when i got my guitar, but i didnt know its soo technical and hard. remembering chords is nothing, its the hitting the strings right, changing chords, and not looking at both your hands. i have to look at my strumming hand, stop and look at my fretting, and when i try and not look at least at my fretting or vice versa, im all over the guitar.....very frustrating......... i dont mean to be soo sour, its like i said, im at a point in life where im trying to remove all negativity.. maybe a guitar teacher can help, but i dont have the funds for long term lessons, maybe a few up front lessons so that he or she could work on my technique.......

#5 OFFLINE   Kirk Lorange

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 09:48 PM

The things you're talking about come with practice, altdeville, pure and simple. The more of it, the better. You just need to get those hands/fingers used to it all, so used to it that they do it on auto pilot. A couple of one-on-one lessons would probably be a good idea too, but, like I say, try and get as much playing under your belt as possible. And it doesn't need to be dedicated, hard core practice ... just sitting watching TV and doing a bit of noodling around is great, so long as it doesn't drive anyone else nuts. I do that all the time. When I don't, my playing suffers.

But don't give up!

#6 OFFLINE   mattz196

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 10:07 PM

Stick with Alt , play play and then play some more, there will always be some down days but they will soon be far outnumbered by great ones. I really beleive that learning to play is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

I do hope though that the critics at your place aren't as tough as they seem to be at Kirk's :winkthumb:

View PostKirk Lorange, on 31 July 2011 - 09:48 PM, said:

so long as it doesn't drive anyone else nuts. I do that all the time.

What's Rangoon to you is Grafton to me

#7 OFFLINE   atldeville

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 10:09 PM

View PostKirk Lorange, on 31 July 2011 - 09:48 PM, said:

The things you're talking about come with practice, altdeville, pure and simple. The more of it, the better. You just need to get those hands/fingers used to it all, so used to it that they do it on auto pilot. A couple of one-on-one lessons would probably be a good idea too, but, like I say, try and get as much playing under your belt as possible. And it doesn't need to be dedicated, hard core practice ... just sitting watching TV and doing a bit of noodling around is great, so long as it doesn't drive anyone else nuts. I do that all the time. When I don't, my playing suffers.

But don't give up!
I'll give it some more time...I'm gonna force myself to try and play thru my mistakes and keep going....

#8 OFFLINE   eddiez152

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 10:18 PM

Atl,

Hang in there. Everyone feels this way at first, some more than others. Just 2-3 chords at a time. Heck you only need to learn 8-9 total and you'll be playing in no time.
It took me 6 months to get through my first song. It only takes 3 chords to play oodles of tunes.
DONT GIVE UP
Nothin sweeter than the sound of music comin out of a 6 string box - EZ me Music / ASCAP "Music is a social act of communication, a gesture of friendship,the strongest there is"-Malcolm Arnold

#9 OFFLINE   Clancy

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 11:00 PM

View Postmattz196, on 31 July 2011 - 10:07 PM, said:

I do hope though that the critics at your place aren't as tough as they seem to be at Kirk's :winkthumb:

Haha... I think you read that wrong Matt.
I said, "I do not fear those pants with nobody inside them." I said, and said, and said those words. I said them but I lied them. ~ Dr. Seuss

#10 OFFLINE   eddiez152

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 12:38 AM

Maybe practice one chord at a time by removing your fingers then placing them back in the right spots each time. A lot has to do with muscle memory.
Hey i got an idea, try this.

http://www.amazon.co...s/dp/0825617545

My kids gave me the Rock and Scale Set. They are a heavy paper cut out of a fret board and the dots are in the right places. You can hold them in your hand like a guitar neck
and place your fingers in the right places. You gain muscle memory and finger position. Guaranteed not to hurt your fingers while you practice. Pick out the chords you want to learn and work on them. It will show you which fingers to use in the right places.
Oh by the way, they are the size of a real guitar neck.

I see by our friends below, were all trying to save another player.Posted Image
Nothin sweeter than the sound of music comin out of a 6 string box - EZ me Music / ASCAP "Music is a social act of communication, a gesture of friendship,the strongest there is"-Malcolm Arnold

#11 OFFLINE   karcey

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 01:05 AM

View Postatldeville, on 31 July 2011 - 07:00 PM, said:

this is soo much more than i thought..... im at a stage in life where i want relaxation and fun, and when i play the guitar, it ruins my day and get me depressed. i hate to sound this way, but i have to speak the truth...the technical part of this is hard and i feel like i wasting time..
I can relate to that. Guitar is hard, and the higher you set your goals, the harder it is.
If you give up, you'll be in good company, because the majority of beginners give up. However you won't be in our company because we all found a way to keep going. Obviously you want to learn otherwise you wouldn't be here. So let's see if we can find the problem and help you keep going.
Is the neck of your guitar too narrow? That was my problem at first. Couldn't squeeze my fingers between the strings. I found I was much faster on a nylon string guitar that has a much wider neck. Now that my fingers have slimmed down a tad, I can manage the steel strings.
Do you know exactly what you want to play? Do you want to be like someone in particular? Do you sing and want to accompany yourself (or someone else?) Knowing what you want to be doing down the track helps to decide what track to be on. For example, since I don't sing, and don't know anyone who likes to sing, I don't strum. Tried it for a while but lost interest because it wasn't taking me anywhere. Now I don;t think I could strum three beats if I tried! But I found something else I wanted to do, another path that was more exciting for me. You're going to have to identify your path.
My guess, if you'll forgive my presumption, is that you're trying to learn it all and you're learning too much. How many chords do you need to play that first song you crave? Everyone needs a first song to aim for ... the one that's the signal that you've made it. If you don't have one yet you need one. And make it a simple one at first. And assuming you've got it, do you have the notation or chords for it, or the TAB if that's your bag? Or are you wandering around in the music wilderness trying to learn everything you see in the hope that when you know it all you'll be a guitarist?
I've seen a lots people learning lots of skills over the years. Mostly they were learning in a work or school situation. They couldn't give up even when they wanted to. But it's different for guitar. You're doing this by choice and you can pack it in any time you want. So even more than the rest you have to make sure that your learning plan is going to be rewarding and take you where you want to go.
I'm offering to help you find the short route to your music goal as much as I'm able. There's others here willing to do the same. If you'd like to discuss further in this forum that's fine. If you'd like to message me, I'm happy with that too. It's your choice, and I know you'd like to learn to play, so what do you say?
"The music matters more than the instrument on which we play it." Jason W. Solomon

#12 OFFLINE   atldeville

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 02:17 AM

Thanx Karcey,, Kirk, Matt, Eddie, and the others. Thanx for encouragement. It never dawned on me that maybe I AM trying to learn too much, too fast, without a plan. Upon thinking about it, that IS one of the problems. Guess I need to slow down, pick out a song I like and set it as a goal, like Karcey mentioned. A little background about me. I love music, particularly alternative rock. I don't think I can hold a key when singing, don't know if I have a ear for music. Because of this, I have been concentrating on trying to learn a lot, fast, hoping it would overcome a fear of not being able to play music by ear. In two weeks, I have learned TEN chords. I can play them clean maybe 10 percent of the time. I've played around with a couple of chord changes, AND, trying to learn the a minor pentatonic scale.

My main problems on the technical side are my fingers leaning down and touching other strings, finger placement, not applying enuf pressure, and not being able to pick a chord without having to stop, look at my fretting hand to place my fingers, then looking at my strumming hand, THEN strumming, unless it's a very easy progression where you move just one finger to change the chord into another chord. My hands are not large, so I shouldn't need a wider guitar.

So, that's my background and what my practices have been like. My ultimate goal is to be able to play rock ballads. I like Hendrix ballads, smashing pumpkins and the verve. ( as reference points).

#13 OFFLINE   mattz196

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 04:25 AM

View PostClancy, on 31 July 2011 - 11:00 PM, said:

Haha... I think you read that wrong Matt.
Nah,I understood perfectly what was meant :innocent: :innocent: :innocent:
What's Rangoon to you is Grafton to me

#14 OFFLINE   carol m

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 05:43 AM

I don't know if I can add much more than the others have said, but how about finding one song with what you call 'easy chords' or the ones you find easiest. Something simple and not too many chord changes or fast changes. Play that song a lot and have fun playing something you can actually play, even if it's only slowly. When you need to go beyond your one song, look for another one using the easy chords. You don't have to know everything all at once. Find something you can do or almost do and have fun with that if you can. Start with something simple and don't think it has to be perfect - getting from beginning to the end is a major achievement - keep going even though it's not being even close to perfect The rest will come in due time - as long as you don't give up. :)
One good thing about music is that when it hits you, you feel no pain - Bob Marley

#15 OFFLINE   chorizo

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 11:23 AM

I agree with Carol. Easy songs and REPEAT them. I think the key is repetition. If you have trouble with a chord change, repeat it, slowly and carefully. Try to do some guitar every day. You will have good guitar days and bad guitar days but eventually more and more good days.

When i was learning and came across a new chord shape i would just change from the chords i already new to the new one, sometimes this would be my main exercise for several days, but the chord would soon become 2nd nature.

You will make it. You will be paid back for your efforts over and over again.

#16 OFFLINE   Stu74

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 11:25 AM

I know its already been said but I can definately recomend lessons Altdeville.Even just 1 everynow and again.I thought i could pick it all up from books and the internet but i had my 4th or 5th lesson today and the penny has finnaly dropped i can now strum a few songs knocking on heavens door and mr tambourine man.It has probably taken me longer than most to get the hang of changing chords and strumming.I have no natural rythm but i know all the difficult things will get easyer the more i practice.
Stick with it and try to find a good teacher.I can only have 1 or 2 lessons a month but its better than non.
Good luck and try to be positive.

#17 OFFLINE   atldeville

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 06:51 PM

thanx for the latest replies.... like i said, im gonna slow down, and concentrate on my technique, im going to fast and trying to learn too much. i WILL take some lessons, if just to get my technique better.... thanx....

#18 OFFLINE   Kirk Lorange

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 06:59 PM

Just one last thing, altdeville: make sure your guitar is in good playing condition. I remember when I was starting out finding it very difficult to progress on the crappy instruments I had in the beginning. My playing shot ahead in leaps and bounds after I got my first 'good' guitar. It just may be that you're being thwarted by a guitar that isn't set up properly. You might want to drop into a guitar store and try a few out to see if they feel better and make it easier to do all the things you're having trouble with. If so, get yours looked at by a professional. These days, most guitars are a pretty high standard, but most can all do with a little tweak here or there to make them more friendly.

#19 OFFLINE   atldeville

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 11:01 PM

View PostKirk Lorange, on 01 August 2011 - 06:59 PM, said:

Just one last thing, altdeville: make sure your guitar is in good playing condition. I remember when I was starting out finding it very difficult to progress on the crappy instruments I had in the beginning. My playing shot ahead in leaps and bounds after I got my first 'good' guitar. It just may be that you're being thwarted by a guitar that isn't set up properly. You might want to drop into a guitar store and try a few out to see if they feel better and make it easier to do all the things you're having trouble with. If so, get yours looked at by a professional. These days, most guitars are a pretty high standard, but most can all do with a little tweak here or there to make them more friendly.

I do have a low end guitar, didn't want to invest in a bettervone until I knewvi could learn to play....

#20 OFFLINE   Michael J

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Posted 07 August 2011 - 04:40 PM

View Postatldeville, on 31 July 2011 - 07:00 PM, said:

this is soo much more than i thought..... im at a stage in life where i want relaxation and fun, and when i play the guitar, it ruins my day and get me depressed. i hate to sound this way, but i have to speak the truth...the technical part of this is hard and i feel like i wasting time..

Stick with it you will get there :)
:guitardude:





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