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starsailor

The Viagra Song

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starsailor    20

Wrote this for all the spammers who hang out in Songwriting who all seem to have a link to a site selling Viagra, and to all those that email me offering similar products, I'd like to be taken off the mailing list:laughingg:

Hope it's not too risque:innocent:

The Viagra Song

Verse 1

I've travelled many oceans

I've met lots of girls

I've slept with lots of women

Who said I was their world

Verse 2

I've pleasured girls from Timbuktu

Sheffield and Managua

But emails in my inbox

Tell me that I need Viagra

Chorus

No I don't need Viagra

I feel no despair

My dog's got floppy ears

And I've got floppy hair

But we don't need Viagra

Cos we're not floppy down there

Verse 3

I must admit I get those days

My manhood won't come out to play

Frustrated girls there's been a few

But he needs a rest like we all do

Verse 4

He sometimes needs arousing

It can take some persuasion

But my trusty trouser snake

Rises to the occasion

Chorus

No I don't need Viagra

I feel no despair

My dog's got floppy ears

And I've got floppy hair

But we don't need Viagra

Cos we're not floppy down there

Verse 5

So here's a plea to those who spam

I don't think that I'm your man

I'm no sexual athlete

But I do the best I can

Verse 6

So if you plan to send me spam

Or on forum pages lurk

Take me off your mailing list

Cos all my functions work

Chorus

No I don't need Viagra

I feel no despair

My dog's got floppy ears

And I've got floppy hair

But we don't need Viagra

Cos we're not floppy down there

© cgsongs

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starsailor    20

Noticed the edit changed it to Sheffield, S****horpe is a town in the UK and it's pronounced thorpe, so that word isn't pronounced I support the Football team that's why it was put in no other reason, honest, no worries, I do understand the censorship. I was kind of amused when I saw it;)

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Nutty    1

Good one Chris.

How about one for all us females who get the Viagra messages as well? I'm so confused :dunno:;):huh:

Annette

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starsailor    20
Good one Chris.

Thanks for having a look Knight, I felt a bit bad about putting S***thorpe in, I don't use that word, it was a blindspot but it does give the song an edge:dunno: , I think I'll stick to Sheffield, I think it was censored automatically but apologies to the moderators if any offence was caused it was a genuine oversight.

Good one Chris.

How about one for all us females who get the Viagra messages as well? I'm so confused :dunno:;):huh:

Annette

It never occured to me that Women get the Viagra ones too Annette

they just carpet bomb computers, it would be possible to write a song from the other perspective so in the interests of equality I can write one, my Wife has never mentioned to me that she gets them, in some ways this is reassuring:yes:

I get some great spams, I'm sure we all do, I think I might write a whole Album based on Spams, there's loads of material there:laughingg:

Hope you're well Annette and you too Knight:winkthumb:

All the Best Wishes

Chris

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carol m    64

Did you ever put this to music Chris? I tried to imagine how it would go, and imagined a fast tempo/a bit frantic/desperate (with a rousing chorus ;) ) in the rowdy pub song style....or not?

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starsailor    20
Did you ever put this to music Chris? I tried to imagine how it would go, and imagined a fast tempo/a bit frantic/desperate (with a rousing chorus ;) ) in the rowdy pub song style....or not?

I messed around with something but I think you're right Carol, I'm thinking a Chas and Dave, Lonnie Donegan My old Man's a dustman sort of song, or something like the Pogues or some of the Irish bands like the Dubliners, I've got a Friend who's into Chas and Dave I'll get him to have a look at it, think this would make a good song, might dig a few skiffle Chords out they're pretty straight forward, I like Skiffle and I've always been a Chas and Dave fan who sadly decided to retire recently.

Thanks for having a look Carol, and for your idea, been writing a few lighthearted ones lately it's good fun and I needed a break from killing people in my songs, haven't retired from that though, someone dies in my next one.:isaynothing::)

Best Wishes

Chris:beer:

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Daktari    0

Hi there,

Good one Chris,can't wait to hear it with the music attached...

Quote:

"Did you ever put this to music Chris? I tried to imagine how it would go, and imagined a fast tempo/a bit frantic/desperate (with a rousing chorus ) in the rowdy pub song style....or not?"

Maybe the best way to describe it would be 'uplifting'.....

Gordon. ;)

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starsailor    20
Hi there,

Good one Chris,can't wait to hear it with the music attached...

Quote:

"Did you ever put this to music Chris? I tried to imagine how it would go, and imagined a fast tempo/a bit frantic/desperate (with a rousing chorus ) in the rowdy pub song style....or not?"

Maybe the best way to describe it would be 'uplifting'.....

Gordon. ;)

Thanks for having a look Gordon, it was up in the air for a while but I've got something down now, I'll post it in Members recordings, tried to make it desperate and frantic Carol , turns into a rant at the end, hope it's ok.:yes:

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