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jimsea789

I don't want to be lonely tonight

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jimsea789    0

I've never on the songwriters forum before, but I was struggling a little bit lyrically with this one - just kind of throwing in words because I couldn't think of a better turn of phrase. Also, I think the song could really use a bridge, but I have absolutely no idea where start with that: how do you know what chords to use, where should it go in the song, what should the lyrics be to actually bridge between the verse and the chorus? Pretty much, I've got nothing when it comes to that.

This song came about after I saw "Marty," an old Ernest Borgnine movie (I think it won "Best Picture in 1957) about a lonely Brooklyn butcher looking for love. Anyway, here are the lyrics. I'll attach a quick recording I made so you can hear the melody. The chords are: Verse: A E A D Em A Em G Chorus: D C D G

I Don't Want to be Lonely Tonight

I saw you standing there across the way

All alone at the end of the day

Going home to your Lean Cuisine

To read a book or a magazine

That’s not the way that it has to be

Just turn my way and look at me ….‘cause

I don’t want to be lonely

I don’t want to be the only one

Who’s sitting home alone and crying

So, Babe, I’ll just keep on trying …‘cause

I don’t want to be lonely … tonight

I won’t sugar coat what I see

You ain’t no beauty, Babe, but look at me

We’ve been around the block a time or two

I don‘t care, but how ‘bout you

I’m no white knight on a noble steed

But I could be, Honey, just what you need … ‘cause

I don’t want to be lonely

I don’t want to be the only one

Who’s sitting home alone and crying

So, Babe, I’ll just keep on trying …‘cause

I don’t want to be lonely … tonight

If you say “no,” Babe, I’ll understand

I may not be your kind of man

I’ll go on home and watch TV

And dream tonight of what will never be

But all I’m asking for is just one dance

So close your eyes now give me a chance … ‘cause

We don’t have to be lonely

We don’t have to be the only ones

Who are sitting home alone and crying

You know we have to keep on trying … cause

We don’t want to be lonely … tonight

We don’t have to be lonely tonight

I don't want to be lonely tonight.mp3

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carol m    64

My idea of a bridge is a section that is different - lyric style, melody, and/or key - in some way that generally gives a 'lift' to the song. It adds interest because it's a bit different, and is often higher in pitch or key to lead into the chorus, which generally contains the main 'message' of the song, and if possible also has a musical and/or lyric 'hook'.

Here's a link to the Wikipedia Song Construction article

Song structure (popular music) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

bearing in mind that many great songs do not follow the 'standard' structure at all.

Also check out the stickies at the top of the forum index for this Songwriting forum for a range of tips and ideas from members.

By the way I thought your lyrics flowed well, and the tune was catchy, but I think you are right that it needs to have a different section/bridge to add interest and avoid repetition. And you can sing in tune as well! Well done.

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jimsea789    0

Thanks, Carol, especially the part about my singing in tune! I've always been a bit skittish about my singing. I read the Wikipedia article about bridges and it answered a few questions, but because I know very little about music, it also generated even more questions. It said the bridge is generally "a perfect fourth" above the key. Now I always thought that the key was whatever chord the song started in - in this case the verse starts in A, so would a perfect fourth above that be E? But, then again, the chorus starts in D, so is that the song key? (And a perfect fourth above would be A)? As far as placement goes, I just have verse, chorus, verse, chorus, etc., so I assume the bridge would go after second chorus to break things up a little? Or should it go after the third verse to lead into the final chorus? You see, the more I learn, the more confused I seem to get! Oh well, I play around with it a little and see what I can come up with. Thanks, again for your help.

Jim

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carol m    64

I'm not sure about the perfect fourth for the bridge but my understanding is that it means it would be up to the key of D where the I IV V would be D G A, or A7 if you want a turn-around, or a perfect fourth above D would be G with the I IV V of G C D. or D7 for a turn-around chord.

Why not just experiment with somehow lifting the melody line up and find some chords that sound good with a 'build' of tension that could be resolved into the chorus. I think sometimes people go to a minor bridge and resolve back to the major for the chorus. The relative minor of a key is the vi chord which would be F minor for key A, or B minor for key D. But don't ask me for an example because it would be a case of the blind leading the not so blind!

Maybe some other members will have some better ideas, and maybe correct me if I'm wrong on the theory.

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Nutty    1

Just a couple of thoughts.

With the structure of your song, it may be difficult to add a bridge (just my opinion). Why not try raising the key of the last chorus or last verse and chorus?

I don't know about you, but I'm not keen on playing a B, F, B, etc chord progression. I would be apt to change the chords to G, D, G, Dm etc (use a capo if the key is too low) and then the last verse and chorus would be in the key of A (or B if you are using the capo on the 2nd fret).

Just my thoughts on how I would approach it.

Great song and great vocals.

Annette

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starsailor    20

Nice song Jimsea, like what you've done with this playing and vocals are cool, noticed you repeated the last line of the chorus in the last verse, you could do that on all the choruses, they'd act as a bridge in themselves, if you're going to put a bridge in sounds like it should be after the second chorus not too sure it would work after the third verse that tends to lead straight to the chorus, I just did a bridge with DAGAD with the last line of the chorus a couple of times then went back to the verse but you might want to be a bit more adventurous, nice song you've done here Jimsea:winkthumb:

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jimsea789    0

Thanks for all the suggestions. I had to read some of them several times to try to understand them. I don't really get all the Roman Numerals and key change stuff, but something Carol said made sense to me: start with a minor chord and build tension to its resolve in the chorus. So with that in mind, I tried this after the second chorus:

Em

If you're just looking for a pretty face

C

Then you've got me feeling out of place

D

But if you just need a man to hold

G

Then come to me before the night grows cold ...'cause

(Chorus)

I'll attach a new version with that bridge added.

To be honest, I'm not sure "G" was the best chord to go to before resolving to the chorus, but I tried and couldn't come up with anything better. Suggestions are welcome.

I'm not sure I really like this - I might play around with Starsailor's DAGAD bridge and see if it sounds better. Thanks again for the help.

I don't want to be lonely B.mp3

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carol m    64
something Carol said made sense to me: .

:yeahhh: ...sorry.....you are clearly a man of unusual gifts!

I thought the Em was good and it did give a lift. Trying a number of different chord progressions and finding one you like is always a good way to go.

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jimsea789    0

Well, it seems that the more I delve into this whole "writing a bridge" thing, the more confused and uncertain I become. I wasn't really happy with the chord progression of the bridge as I wrote it before, so I changed it to this:

Em C

If you're looking for a pretty face

Em A

The you've got me feeling out of place

Em C

But if you just need a man to hold

Em G

Then stay with me before the night grows cold .. cause (Chorus)

But as I listened to it again it kind of sounds like it could be just another verse. I'm thinking that maybe it doesn't offer enough of a break for the listener to really be an effective bridge. Or maybe I'm just overanalyzing it and I should just lay it down as is and call it quits. I don't know - thoughts, ideas? I'm open to suggestions.

I'll attach a new recording with the latest bridge attempt. As always, Thanks

Jim

I don't want to be Lonely Tonight 1.mp3

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