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Lcjones

Talk To Me

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Thanks for having a look. Your thoughts and critique are welcome.

Obviously a pop style tune. Fast pace. Haven't recorded anything yet but I know where it's going. And the chords if you want to play.

Talk To Me

(for The Jangle Band)

[V1]

Dsus/D

I lost it

Gsus/G

I lost it

Dsus/D

I lost it

G/sus.......................................G

When I saw you, walking with him

[V2]

It hurt me

It hurt me

It hurt me

So bad, I can't hold it in

[bridge]

Em............................................A

You don't have to be so cruel to me

Em............................................Asus

You don't have to break my heart to be free

[Chorus]

D..............G..........C..........D

All you gotta do is talk to me

D...........................G.............C.....................Am

Say whats on your mind, tell me what you mean

D...............................G................C.....................Am

Don't beat around the bush, don't take me for a fool

G......................C.......G........D

All you gotta do is talk to me

G................D..........Am.......G

All you gotta do is talk to me

[big freaking guitar stuff]

[V3]

It's easy

It's easy

It's easy

To get lost on lovers lane

[V4]

It's so hard

It's so hard

It's so hard

To carry the weight of this pain

[bridge]

You don't have to be so cruel to me

You don't have to break my heart to be free

[Chorus]

All you gotta do is talk to me

Say whats on your mind, tell me what you mean

Don't beat around the bush, don't take me for a fool

All you gotta do is talk to me

All you gotta do is talk to me

**

LC

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That's fantastic Les. Interesting how you made what I would call a chorus into the verse, and what I would put as the verse as the chorus. It works really well. Concise, strong, and it says it all. I like these a lot.

And nice how you put the chords, it encourages me to pick up the guitar and think about melody instead of just pounding the keyboard - which is a very good thing. Thanks. :claping:

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Slight lyrical revision....in the chorus.... it may feel funny to read but there are some holds in there and it really does work.... ;)

Yeah... I love sus AT. :)

[V1]

I lost it

I lost it

I lost it when I saw you

Walking with him

[V2]

It hurt me

It hurt me

It hurt me so bad

I can't hold it all in

[bridge]

You don't have to be so cruel to me

You don't have to break my heart to be free

[Chorus]

All you gotta do is talk to me

Say whats on your mind

Tell me what you mean

All you gotta do is let me in your heart

You know, I'm not a begging man

But I need to know your plan

Yeah, all you gotta do is talk to me

[big freaking guitar stuff]

[V3]

It's easy

It's easy

It's easy to get lost

On lovers lane

[V4]

It's so hard

It's so hard

It's so hard to carry

The weight of this pain

You don't have to be so cruel to me

You don't have to break my heart to be free

All you gotta do is talk to me

Say whats on your mind

Tell me what you mean

All you gotta do is let me in your heart

You know, I'm not a begging man

But I need to know your plan

All you gotta do is talk to me

**

LC

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First sample....

It's very boring right now. AT will die on the echo.... :) It will change quite a bit in the next few days... Anyway, so you know where my head is on this one...

Talk To Me (first dummy take)

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for those keeping tabs on this build ..... :)

Chorus Sample

[Chorus]

D..............G..........C..........D

All you gotta do is talk to me

D...........................G..........C........................D

Say whats on your mind, tell me what you mean

Am...............Em........Am.................

All you gotta do is let me in your heart

F/G............................................

I'm not a begging man

Gsus......................................G

But I need to understand

Am.............Em...................D........G

Yeah, all you gotta do is talk to me

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Been following this LC, neat lyrics and liking what you've done so far, thanks for taking us through the creative process too, it's interesting and educational to see and hear how you're building the song, nice one:thumbup1:

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I appreciate you guys hanging out and letting me know your thoughts.

All right. I'm down to the near final. I have some vocal timing things to work out but I believe I have the final melody along with a short intro and a solo break spread that works.

This is just me, an out of tune Ricky and a drum loop. The instruments will change as The Jangle Band starts filling in the blanks and we build an arrangement. No telling what it will sound like a week from now. :)

Talk To Me Pre-Final

**

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I've been listening to this take to find things that need fixing. One thing I found is in the bridge ...... (as he trails off on a songwriting thing...)

Listen to my voice on the first and second lines of the bridge. Notice on line one, I emphasize "You" as a dominate word in the phrase by going to a high note. Now notice in the 2nd line, I emphasize the word "don't on a high note.

This is wrong. The word "Don't", in the context of this line, as well as the first line, is a junk, throw away word. I could have used any number of words here. I should be emphasizing "You" in the second line as well. Why? Because in the lyric, the "You" is actually a character in the story.

This is one of the tricks of good songwriting and singing. Choosing the best word for the position and putting emphasis on words that mean something in the lyric.

anyway..... didn't mean to go off on a tangent... :)

**

LC

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........ going into overdrive.....

and yet a new chorus..... why? to capitalize on the hook, "Talk To Me"

No. 3 Chorus... a jiffy mix ... 1 minute +/-

All you gotta do is talk to me

Say whats on your mind tell me what you mean

All you gotta do is talk to me

Take all the time you think you might need

Don't be hiding from words from me, open up to me,

I'm not a begging man

I need to understand

All you gotta do is talk to me

**

LC

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Ok this is way cool!!

I do like they way your voice is lower in this last upload...you don't seem strained to hit the higher notes. This is gonna be awesome when it's done!

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Nice job on this one Les. Very cool to be able to follow the path of this number from one stage to the next. A great insight on how a song develops, thanks.

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.....and i think i finally have the chorus i want...

D..............G..........C..........D

All you gotta do is talk to me

D...........................G..........C........................D

Say whats on your mind, tell me what you mean

D..............G..........C..........D

All you gotta do is talk to me

D...........................G..........C........................D

Take all the time you think you might need

Am...............Em.......Am.....................Em

Girl just let it loose, don't hold back the truth

F/G............................................

[you know] I'm not a begging man

Gsus.................................G

[but] I need to understand

Am................Em....D........Gsus

All you gotta do is talk to me

:)

**

LC

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"Don't be hiding from words from me, open up to me," . Those two froms may be a bit too much, lc. lose the first from. better context with the next line. Don't be hiding words from me, open up to me. The emphasis is not what you say to her but, what you want her to say to you. :) Just a thought.

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nothing about nothing.....but keeping you apprised of whats going on....

The lyrics and melody have been delivered to the Jangle Band. There has been some rewrite on the chorus and conversation about the chord progression within the chorus. Skeeter has also built another intro.

There has also been a solo guitar part suggested but I don't think it will fly.

To be honest, this original lyric was written in not quite an hour's time. The original melody took several more hours. The rewrites have taken hours upon hours. The Jangle Band members have contributed quite a bit but nothing is settled on yet. Lots' of suggestions but nothing concrete. It may take a couple of weeks before we decide how Talk To Me is ultimately built.

Keep in mind the Jangle Band is six members in three different time zones from Germany to Canada to the Americas. Coordination is difficult at best. We are all very conscience of the fact our music comes first and the individual player comes later. Ego's are left at the door and have no place in our virtual studio.

And that's it from the virtual trenches.....

Keep twangin'

**

LC

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Like what you've done LC, like the new chorus too, rolls along nicely, look forward to hearing the final mix and once again thanks for the thread, been great to see and hear the way you work, excellent thread:winkthumb:

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