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Alawiggle

Lyrics for a full song I'm attempting.

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Alawiggle    0

I wrote these a while back, but just got around to trying to put them with some music. Let me know if these lyrics are any good or not (it's so hard to judge yourself...).

Lying awake in the middle of the night

You telling me it's all right

Singing songs that are better than mine

Telling you all these true lies

And I knew, who I was

Tell me again why I let you down

'Cause I can't seem to figure out just how

Guess we all realize some day

That we're all to blame some way

But it's true, just what you said

I never want to look back

How's your life working out so far?

Did you realize it'd be so hard?

And if the only judge is yourself

Why's it so hard to ask for help?

How come you always put yourself down?

Isn't that the job of those around?

But I guess it's hard to accept

What others view as your best

But in the end we all must pay

That's the reason for dying I say

And it's so hard to be yourself

But if not you, then who else?

I think it starts off strong, but kind of loses it's momentum, but who knows. I mean to have some kind of line that comes after very stanza or whatever they are (like the "I knew, who I was" part) but haven't thought of any of the rest of these yet.

Anyway, hit me with criticisms. I wanna hear them. :)

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D-Dawn    0

I actually like them very much! I suppose how they flow will depend on your music, but I really can't give a good critique...I'm new to this song writing bit too! Anxious to hear it even so! :)

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carol m    64

Remembering that I'm also not qualified to critique lyrics but I thought it was good too. I do think it's a good idea to find a way of breaking up a string of verses, whether with a bridge or a chorus, or like you are trying to do, with a single strong line that's relevant.

I thought verse 4 was a bit strange. I personally disagree with the second line - I don't think it's the job of anyone to put anyone down but realise that line might be because you needed a line and that's the one that came up. Also I didn't really understand the meaning of that verse.

I don't think you have to always spell out the meaning of lyrics in detail, but I think it's a good idea for the listeners to understand the general idea of what a line is suggesting. Maybe I'm just being thick, in which case (or any case) ignore me if you disagree. :D

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D-Dawn    0

I think it is meant as - "others put you down enough, why do it to yourself as well?" it's funny how differently we all see things as I likes that verse best LOL

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Alawiggle    0

I thought verse 4 was a bit strange. I personally disagree with the second line - I don't think it's the job of anyone to put anyone down but realise that line might be because you needed a line and that's the one that came up. Also I didn't really understand the meaning of that verse.

Dawn was pretty much right. The whole song is steeped with a voice of negativity I think, and that was just saying, like Dawn said, "Others strike at your self-esteem enough, why bother helping them?"

Maybe it's not clear enough *shrugs*

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D-Dawn    0

It seemed pretty clear to me. I had to go back and read where Carol got a bit confused ;) it's really nice and like I said, looking forward to hearing it as well :)

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Alawiggle    0
How's it going Alawiggle? Are you working on a recording? I'd like to hear these lyrics put to music.

Yeah, I'm finishing up my guitar part and making sure I can play it well while singing.

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Doug    12

I think they are very good lyrics, they have a very natural feel to them and there's some interesting lines in there too. If you do rewrite them, you may want to make the verses more cohesive. I had a feeling that each verse was saying something somewhat different.

I look forward to hearing the song.

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Alawiggle    0
I think they are very good lyrics, they have a very natural feel to them and there's some interesting lines in there too. If you do rewrite them, you may want to make the verses more cohesive. I had a feeling that each verse was saying something somewhat different.

I look forward to hearing the song.

Here's a rough draft. Voice is quiet 'cause of roommates. And I forgot some of the lyrics. :-p

And I mess up guitar, but let me know what you think. That's only the first two verses.

Audio 49.mov

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carol m    64

It plays ok on Quicktime. I liked that a lot. The tempo was a surprise, but I liked it. Well done. I think this will make a good song.:)

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Alawiggle    0
It plays ok on Quicktime. I liked that a lot. The tempo was a surprise, but I liked it. Well done. I think this will make a good song.:)

I'm not a big fan of slower songs. :-p

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