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PepticDust

The Mystic

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PepticDust    0

This was inspired mostly by my feelings on recent events, both on a personal level and global level. I'm not sure where the name "The Mystic" came from but it made sense to give the character a name and just calling him "Jim" sounded cheesey.

Feedback is appreciated:

The Mystic

Against them he does conspire

In act 2, his true nature he hides

Peasant trust him as they confide

They say the Mystic is the one

The only can get things done

While the leaders feed his people a line

He finds weakness, they don't have a spine

While they act like sister and brother

He knows he can turn them against each other

He plants seeds of doubt, second guess and fear

He pulls their strings, he's the grand puppeteer

The curtain will fall

The democrats will crawl

They are ruled by contradiction

Tore apart by the friction

He is ruled by logic and fact

Knowledge to destroy them at the final act

His conviction grows with every hour

As he gets closer to his rise to power

Through anger, passion and fire

Against them he does conspire

Benchmarked leaders put their peers into scrutiny

The Mystic sees his chances and leads a mutiny

The peasants rise up following his lead

The democrats deliberate while cities bleed

He destroys the government with one swift coup

He removes the leaders and says they're through

He says "you ran this place to the ground. you fool"

"Now this place will prosper under my rule

Rule by vote is replaced by rule by fear

He pulled their strings as the grand puppeteer

The curtain has fallen

The democrats kept stallin

They were ruled by contradiction

Tore apart by the friction

He is ruled by logic and fact

Knowledge to destroy them in this final act

He looks down at his people from his tower

"The day has come my rise to power."

"Forged through anger passion and fire

Has risen my new Empire!"

Forged through anger passion and fire

Has risen his new Empire!

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knight46    2

Peptic,

Really nice protest feel to this piece. Good hip hop beat and rhythm. What kind of music to you feel for The Mystic?

Nice to see you back posting on the forum, hadn't heard from you in a while.

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PepticDust    0
Sounds like praise the messiah.

Nice to see you writing Pep

Not so much the messiah. It came to me after being denied a promotion twice for the same rediculous reason and them hiring 2 people as useful as a screen door on a submarine so spineless there's but a vertabra between them. It made me wonder if the whole voting system works. This song plays to the whole "if you possess the skills and knowledge to take your superior's position from them then you are more deserving of the position than they are." In short, it's my protest to democracy, the rule of the rabble.

I hear it with a hard rock feel, for the chorus anyway. I figure the verses would be quiet.

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Not so much the messiah. It came to me after being denied a promotion twice for the same rediculous reason and them hiring 2 people as useful as a screen door on a submarine so spineless there's but a vertabra between them. It made me wonder if the whole voting system works. This song plays to the whole "if you possess the skills and knowledge to take your superior's position from them then you are more deserving of the position than they are." In short, it's my protest to democracy, the rule of the rabble.

I hear it with a hard rock feel, for the chorus anyway. I figure the verses would be quiet.

a screen door on a submarine? nice! ;)

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starsailor    20

I just read the lyric again, it is a really good bit of writing and a great idea for a protest song, it's written with passion too, good idea to keep the chorus quiet, might work well with a marching sort of beat under it building up to the next verse. Make a cool metal song.

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Sound like Glenn Beck to me. I'm probably exposing myself to all kinds of retaliation here but that guy has got it figured out. Be it for the right reasons or not...you decide. :laughingg: Nice writing, kind of Rage'ish. Might sound good with a kind of "Bulls on Parade" type feel. Are you looking for ideas and help with the music or just sharing as a poet? I mean do you need help with the music?

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