[Ballard]

So I was sitting in chemistry today, busy not paying attention, and I came up with a verse. It might just be the coolest thing I've ever written. My problem is, I can't think of a single word to accompany it. I'm having the worst case of writer's block..

I was hoping someone might be able to point me in the right direction. I have so far..

And when that train pulls out of town
It's lost and nowhere to be found
It travels on down the beaten path
And it never looks back.

"And it never looks back" might be replaced with "And it never turns around."

Any ideas would be mucho appreciated.

[Lcjones]

Ok .. first and foremost, unload, get rid of, dump in the river, send to Pisgah, Ohio or else-where.... any notion of and use of language that includes the term "writers block".

It doesn't happen.

There is no such thing as writers block.

It is a myth developed and disseminated by those who can't or will not write.

**************

Your hook is " lost and nowhere".
Expound upon it.
Though in my mind it should be "No Where & Lost"

You're on to it, though you may not realize it at this time ........ don't even mutter the words writers block. There is no such thing. And those who use the term are looking for an easy out.....

**

[randomaire]

Totally agree les, I think its just the mind trying so hard to think of something to go along with what was alrdy written, its gotta flow....

I sometimes just write bits and pieces of stuff, and sometimes I come back to them later, and I'm like oh hey that could fit here and I write some more on that little quip and then put it down again. Sometimes I can sit and write a whole page worth of stuff.

I think you have a good start of something that you can work with there, but don't force it, it will come natural ballard.

[Ballard]

Thanks for the support, guys.

It's just that it's so great, I don't want to downgrade it with bad lyrics.

I tried a gypsy/roaming circus theme earlier, but it just didn't seem good enough. I'll try again and hope it flows.

[Lcjones]

if your heart leads to you a gypsy theme. then so be it. do not discount any avenue available. there is no right or wrong. there is only lyrics.


**

[Doug]

Hey Ballard,
that's a good start. - I like "back" instead of "around" - a little less predictable. Depends on how it fits with the music, though.
So, is this a verse or a chorus - it almost sounds like a chorus to me because it starts with "and" - makes me think something should come before it.
A really minor nit - if it's lost and no where to be found how can it be travelling down a beaten path? Not a big deal, though.
There are two main types of songs (although there are no "rules" just generalities). The first type is verse, chorus, verse, chorus (with maybe a bridge added for spice) and the second is verse, verse bridge... There's a pretty major difference in how the verses are written - with the verse, chorus type, the verses are less complete - each verse adds a bit more to the story and the hook (if present) isn't strong in the verse. The hook comes in the chorus. With the second type with no chorus, the verses tend to stand strong on their own and they have a strong hook. Most of Bob Dylan's songs are like this -"...and you break, jsut like a little girl", or "...tangled up in blue".
The second verse of a song is always a lot more difficult than the first. I'm sure there's lots of one-verse songs in writer's note books. Maybe take a step back and think about what story you're trying to tell, what feeling you're trying to evoke, what message you trying to get across - not the details just in general.
I really like what you've written - as I said, to me it sounds like a good chorus. Do you have any music for it yet?
-Doug

[Doug]

oh yeah, and maybe change "never looks back" to "never comes back".
also, I don't think it's a good idea to mix trains with Gypsy Queens - unless you throw in an old pickup truck and a hound dog as well. ;-) Try to stay away from cliches.

[solidwalnut]

Originally Posted by Ballard

So I was sitting in chemistry today, busy not paying attention, and I came up with a verse. It might just be the coolest thing I've ever written. My problem is, I can't think of a single word to accompany it. I'm having the worst case of writer's block..

I was hoping someone might be able to point me in the right direction. I have so far..

And when that train pulls out of town
It's lost and nowhere to be found
It travels on down the beaten path
And it never looks back.

"And it never looks back" might be replaced with "And it never turns around."

Any ideas would be mucho appreciated.

Ballard--

This is a great start...one thing about songwriting is that it's just plain not easy. Well, it seems easy for some people, but for the vast majority of us, it just plain is not!! Like lcjones says, 'writer's block' is just another way of being negative about accomplishing that which you know you're capable of.

So, with that in mind, you might prepare yourself to learn more about the craft. Think about how you go about getting inspiration, for example. Learn mechanisms that writers use to get past stumbling blocks.

How I like to go about writing lyrics is usually by sitting down and deciding what it is that I'm writing about. Maybe I've just come up with an inspiration like a possible chorus section, like you just did. Or maybe it's an idea I want to write about. Whatever, what I like to do is to just sit and write anything that comes to mind about it. Pour out all my thoughts on the subject. I'll write out a couple of pages of what I'm thinking about. Some call this brainstorming.

If I've written a possible chorus section, like you have here, then I'll try and decide whether or not this idea I've written is better as a chorus or a verse--or maybe a bridge or pre-chorus????

Originally Posted by Ballard

And when that train pulls out of town
It's lost and nowhere to be found
It travels on down the beaten path
And it never looks back.

This sounds like a possible chorus to me. Not only because it sounds like you're summarizing your thoughts by beginning with 'and', but because if you wanted this as a chorus, your last line sounds like possible hook material. I think you should work with that line if you want that as your hook. Consider making it catchier. Maybe by being 'ethereal', (one of my favorite hook mechanisms! Probably because I'm on old '70's hippee), as in 'And always bleeds the color black', or being more descriptive about HOW it never looks back. Maybe, "And screams down that track". That's probably not the best suggestion for the line, but whatever it takes to draw in the listener so they hang on that line...

Another suggestion if this is a chorus is to repeat that last line, or add another one that describes it. If it's, 'And it never looks back', you might follow it up with something like, 'Cause it's always about the track'.

But maybe this is all or part of a verse. If you do the brainstorming exercise, you'll know...If it's a part of a verse, then maybe the sub-hook in the verse is something like what you have, 'It's lost and nowhere to be found'. But you could also make this sub-hook more descriptive. It very well could be that this might also be the main hook of the song (and therefore possibly the title). You'll know it when you hear it.

Anyway, just some random thoughts. Have fun with it.

Steve

[Ballard]

Wow, I totally forgot about this thread. I'm glad I found it, though. Thanks for all the support, you guys! I might actually start working on this song again, thanks to all of you.