[Lcjones]

Hearts In Good Care
Chapman Jones - ASCAP 27052006

[v1]
May the rain flowing down bring a smile to your eyes
And never dim lanterns beneath darkened skys
May the flowers unfold in your garden so fair
With the fragrance of love afloat on the air

[v2]
Let the sun shining bright on your beautiful face
Find all the dreams you may have mis-placed
Let the moon shining through the clouds silver your hair
And in the night shadows remove all dispair

[chorus]
Whirling and twirling and swirling entranced
Around in a circle of music we dance
We're always a pair of lovers who share
The pleasures of being with hearts in good care

[melodic interlude]

[v3]
On the hills climbing high or the woodlands below
Through valleys and dales, where ever we go
In the deepest blue night where the shootings stars flare
Our hearts will be one with never a care

[v4]
When the maple trees blush with the coming of fall
And the long days are shortened by summer's last call
As evenings cool down, breathing autumn's sweet air
Together we'll be with hearts in good care

[chorus]
Whirling and twirling and swirling entranced
Around in a circle of music we dance
We're always a pair of lovers who share
The pleasures of being with hearts in good care

[melodic interlude]


[v5]
When our time here is done and we part as we do
We'll travel the road of so many we knew
Let us sit down beside each other and share
The pleasures of being with hearts in good care

[tag]
We're always a pair of lovers who share
The pleasures of being with hearts in good care

[melodic conclusion]


**
As always, thanks for getting this far!

Les

[allthumbs]

Nice one, The right music will really make that come alive.

[Lcjones]

...thanks, Marty. i'm working on an Open D tuning for this one ...... we'll see how it goes!

[coldethyl]

Wonderful lyrics Les! Again, you've out-done yourself. Top of the shelf songwriting Les! I agree with Marty, music will give it the polish it deserves.

[Nem]

well, ill be honest...

1. I think this is one of your better lyrics. but is it too good? what I mean by that is I dont get an immediate sense of what this song is about, even after reading through the entire thing. Its very descriptive, and I love that, it really helps to amplify the emotion Im feeling, but from the lyrics Im not entirely sure what that emotion should be? well not until the 3rd verse, maybe the chorus anyway

2. I think the rhyme scheme should change going from verse to chorus just to show its a different part of the song

3. the title. the hook is there throughout the song, but the title itself wasnt enticing enough to draw me into this thread. Ill be honest and say that the only reason I came in here was because I saw it was by lcjones :S

anyway, it was hard trying to find something wrong with it because on the whole its very descriptive and actually quite good, I guess im just being picky

when are we going to hear music for this

[Lcjones]

Hey thanks, folks. Some good points brought up.

I'm wondering if it even needs a chorus at all. I kinda get the feeling the chorus is really over kill. In fact, I'll do a rough in recording tonight without the chorus just to see how it sounds. I kinda like the idea of it just being a sort of lovers type lullaby ..... ( is there such a thing ???? ) .. obviously not a commercial piece but something to soothe the heart or perhaps bore someone to sleep .... as it drones .... zzzz ...

Still playing with the open D on this one.

Thanks again....

Les

[fly135]

Can't wait to hear it with music. Quite honestly I can't really say how good a song any particular lyrics will make without the music. I might be categorized as a lazy listener. For me lyrics don't have to make any sense at all. If a tune sticks in my head and I like to sing along, then it's a great song. The more ethereal the lyrics the better in many cases. And I think that this song fits in that category. I wouldn't even say that it can't be a commercial piece.

[Lcjones]

Hey fly,

Heres a link to a very raw recording... Basically it's not been practiced ... but you'll get the drift of where I'm heading ..... I think ...

Hearts In Good Care


Anyway ...would like your thoughts on it ....
Les

[Nem]

wow im so loving this. not only the song but actually witnessing the process from beginning to ... somewhere, its interesting

i like the guitar part you wrote for it. i love how it kinda flows because 1) it sounds nice but 2) the song has a lot of references to nature which in itself is very elegant, very smooth, so the music fits. was this something that you had in your mind when you wrote the music? or did the music just come to you from nowhere?

the one tiny bit i dont like about the guitar part is when it gets to those melodic interludes it sounds like it goes a bit minor and its all a bit too sudden for me. I was just getting into it, absorbing the wonderful lyrics, and matching music, and then it feels like it takes a turn in another direction. not sure though

those interludes are important to keep there because you dont want 5 verses running straight from one into another, especially now that you have no chorus. i dont think its too long or too boring, it kinda draws you in and its sentimental and heartfelt. i like it

[Lcjones]

Hey guys, Thanks for the notes...

Re: Nature & Music.....
I've always thought that lyrics in some fashion design the melody. Some thoughts, phrases, words lend themselves to a certain melody. It's ferreting out the melody that is sometimes a real trick. Good placement of words against the melody is top priority.... in my book.....

I knew the lyrics were organic, if you will, ad required some special attention. I played it a few times with standard tuning, different keys, chords and nothing worked. Once I tuned to Open D things started to stand up.

You can have a great lyric but if the melody is less than the quality of the lyric then I firmly believe the song will die an unnatural death.

Les

[Lcjones]

I appreciate everyones input and thoughts. You all help make me become a better musician!

For those following the game, and perhaps keeping score, I'm on about the 6th adjustment in the lyrics to Hearts In Good Care. Mostly minor things like changing a word or a phrase here and there.

I've got the melody crafted that I want and I've got the arrangement fairly well set. All I need to do now is practice a day or two. A couple of days will help level things out from the head rush of writing too.

Here's where I stand as of now. I think it's a final piece, though nothing is exempt from the eraser/backspace key just yet!

©Chapman Jones - Croaking Frog Brand Music
ASCAP 2006

May the rain flowing down bring a smile to your eyes
And never dim lanterns beneath darkened skies
May the flowers unfold in your garden so fair
And blossom between.... two hearts in good care

On the hills climbing high or the woodland below
Through valleys and dale, where ever we go (sheepishly cliche)
In the deepest blue night where shooting stars flare
We'll be one with two.... hearts in good care (staccato on the first part)

Let the sun shining bright on your delicate face (hmm delicate - try some alliteration bee bee )
Find all the dreams you may have misplaced
May the gleam of a moon beam silver your hair
And light the way for two.... hearts in good care (staccato again - first part)

When the long days are shortened by summer's last call
and the maple trees blush with the coming of fall
As evenings cool down breathing autumn's sweet air
We'll be warm as two.... hearts in good care

When our time here is done and we part as we do
We'll travel the same trail of old friends we knew
Let's sit down beside each other and share
The pleasures between.... two hearts in good care


**
As always, thanks for getting this far.

Les

[allthumbs]

How about" up turned face"? It leads into the rest of the verse pretty well. Pretty much everyonre has turned there face up to the sun, closed their eyes, and experienced being in the moment and feeling at peace. Just a thought.