[rjspats]

these are some lyrics i came up with thinking about a girl i used to know. it may be kind of dark but so were the times. i have a basic melody in mind but only lyrics so far. let me know what you guys think and thanx in advance

BOULEVARD GIRL

VERSE
I REMEMBER HOW YOU CRIED THAT NIGHT
DOWN ON THE BOULEVARD
EMPTY FACES ALL STARING BACK
THEIR HEARTS SO COLD AND HARD
A WHISPERED WORD FELL FROM YOUR LIPS
I TOUCHED YOUR SHAKING FINGERTIPS
IN THE NEON LIGHT WE MADE A DEAL
THE TIME WE'D SPEND WE'D NEVER STEAL

CHORUS
DOWN ON THE BOULEVARD
SOMETIMES IT GETS SO HARD
ALL WE'VE GOT IS THE NIGHT
ONE CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT

VERSE
THE DANCER DOESN'T LOOK SO HAPPY
DOING HER ACT UNDER THE BLUE LIGHTS
SHE'S GOT SOME SCARS SHE AIN'T SHOWING
HER SAFETY IS NO ONE KNOWING
HOW MANY TIMES THAT SHE FELL
CHASING ALL HER BROKEN DREAMS
FINDING ONLY NIGHTMARE SCHEMES
AND NO ONE TO HOLD HER HAND

CHORUS

VERSE OR BRIDGE (CAN'T DECIDE)
BROKEN GLASS IN A DIMLIT BAR
PROMISES MADE THAT TOOK US FAR
SHE SAID I DON'T BELIEVE IN THE PROMISED LAND
I THINK IT'S SAD THE WAY SOME PEOPLE MAKE THEIR STAND

CHORUS

OUTRO?

THERE YOU HAVE IT BE GENTLE, I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

BOB

[allthumbs]

Outstanding Bob. Strong imagery. Good flow. Not sure about the rhyming scheme. Our resident lyricist will have to comment on that. Good job. Huge potential.

[Nem]

all i can say is wow

i love it, i can really picture the scene in my mind which makes it so much stronger

the best part of the song?
"HER SAFETY IS NO ONE KNOWING
HOW MANY TIMES THAT SHE FELL
CHASING ALL HER BROKEN DREAMS"

that struck a chord with me

[Cedric01]

Deep lyrics! Good stuff. Do I hear a ballad?

[nagukush]

Great suff !!!

[rjspats]

Thanx everyone i'm really blown away by your feedback

now i just need to come up with some music and a melody line and chord progression that conveys the mood of the song and yeah i was thinking of a ballad feel. i don't have a mike or recorder and don't sing so well i'm just gonna let it run around in my head and see what comes. if anyone wants to try something with it go for it...who knows what could develop

take care
bob

[jacobp]

Great lyrics, Really can see it becoming a great, catchy song. I looked and there are only two words i would change (of course you dont have to listen, but i'm just throwing it out there)
In the chorus where it says " Sometimes it gets so hard" maybe change "it" to "life"?
And also in the chorus where the line is "One chance to make it right" maybe "one last chance to make it right" or "only one chance to make it right"

Anyway, just small things.
again some great lyrics and cant wait to hear a recording on the members recording forum