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| Songwriting Ask any questions you have about songwriting here. |
April 14th, 2008
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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Forgive Me
I know this isn't very good, and i haven't quite finished putting music to it, but I haven't wrote anything in a few months. I just got bored and started writing what came to mind and came up with this...
Forgive Me
Verse1
Baby please forgive me,
I know that as of lately,
My love seems kinda Dainty,
And my eyes look on so faintly.
Bm D Am E
But we're losin what we had,
I bet your dad's really glad,
It's all my fault, I feel so bad,
But I'm thankful for what we Had!
Chorus
So baby please forgive me,
I hope someday that maybe,
You will be able to forgive me,
Then my heart, can be set free
(x2)
Verse2
Love is like a tickin time bomb,
But were we oh so wrong?
We both new the shot was long,
But for the ride we went along.
Bm D Am E
I love you, please don't hate me,
You really oughta thank me,
I see that you don't love me,
Now your heart, can be set free!
(Chorus) x2
Tag
Sometimes if you love someone, you have to let them go!
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 14th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for what seems like forever.
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Last Online: 6 Minutes Ago 03:05 PM
Location: Land of Lincoln - Illinois
Posts: 4,959
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Buchanan,
Writing can start with what you think and may have much to do about what you or how you would want to play it. I suppose there are a lot of models we can all pick from. At this point in time its a writing on a paper, which can be molded into many forms by word changes and thoughts.
Should others make suggestions, it would be for bringing out other possibilities to glean from. They may be a plus or minus to what you have in mind.
It has been mentioned, not to go into this as being bored, rather a quest to do your best, including changes that may occur while you work on this lyric and the tune.
Don't go into this thinking its not very good. I see you have a layout on the chord progression so you must have something in mind.
Good luck with your progress.
Nothin sweeter than the sound of music comin out of a 6 string box - EZ me Music / ASCAP
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April 14th, 2008
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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Forgive Me (Rewrite 1)
Verse1
Baby please forgive me,
I know that as of lately,
My love seems kinda Dainty,
And my eyes look on so faintly.
Bm D Am E
But we're losin what we had,
I bet your dad's really glad,
It's all my fault, I feel so bad,
But I'm thankful for what we Had!
Chorus
So baby please forgive me,
I hope someday that maybe,
You will be able to forgive me,
Then my heart, can be set free
So baby please forgive me,
I hope somewhere that maybe,
I won't hurt inside on the daily
Then my love, can be set free
Music (not sure what yet)
Verse2
Love is like a tickin time bomb,
But were we oh so wrong?
We both new the way was wrong,
But for the ride we went along.
Bm D Am E
I love you, please don't hate me,
You really oughta thank me,
I see that you don't still love me,
Now your heart, can be set free!
(Chorus) x2
Tag
Sometimes if you love someone, you have to let them go!
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 14th, 2008
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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Well it started as me being bored, but then yesterday I added the chorus and second verse. I decided I might have at least a good starting point to go from. Then today I did my first RW. I'm gonna try to make this a worth my time kind of thing. I love to write music and all. So even if it's not very good, it's not just me being bored anymore. I'm actually trying 
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 14th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for what seems like forever.
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Last Online: 6 Minutes Ago 03:05 PM
Location: Land of Lincoln - Illinois
Posts: 4,959
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Thats great! Check out some suggestions in the song writing stickies,
and keep at it. Just curious, what type of music do you have in mind, like ballad, slow rock, country, etc. ?
You certainly have had a chance to see what others have demonstrated with their lyrics here. Listen ad learn from the examples.
Most of all have fun.
Nothin sweeter than the sound of music comin out of a 6 string box - EZ me Music / ASCAP
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April 14th, 2008
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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Thanks!
I was thinking something like slow rock. I've got some music to go with it, but nothing I really like yet.
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 14th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for what seems like forever.
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Last Online: 6 Minutes Ago 03:05 PM
Location: Land of Lincoln - Illinois
Posts: 4,959
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Ok, slow rock, kinda like what artist or music?
Nothin sweeter than the sound of music comin out of a 6 string box - EZ me Music / ASCAP
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April 14th, 2008
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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I didn't really have an artist in mind. I kinda of play weird, but it's how I like to play, so I just did it kind of like myself (lol) I added some music and did a little bit more to it. I've got the first half to music so far...
Forgive Me(Rewrite 2)
Intro
Bm D Am C
Verse1
Bm D
Baby please forgive me,
Am Em
I know that as of lately,
C D
My love seems kinda Dainty,
Am Em
And my eyes look on so faintly.
Bm D Am Em
Bm D
But we're losin what we had,
Am Em
I bet your dad's really glad,
C D
It's all my fault, I feel so bad,
Am Em Am
But I'm thankful foooorrr... what, we, Had!
Chorus
Bm Am
So baby please forgive me,
Em C
I hope someday that maybe,
Em D
You will be able to forgive me,
Bm D Am Em
Then my heart, can be set free
Bm Am
So baby please forgive me,
Em C
I hope somewhere that maybe,
Em D
I won't hurt inside on the daily
Bm D Am Em
Then my love, can be set free
Music (not sure what yet)
Verse2
Love is like a tickin time bomb,
But were we oh so wrong?
We both new the way was wrong,
But for the ride we went along.
Bm D Am Em
I love you, please don't hate me,
You really oughta thank me,
I see that you can't still love me,
Now your soul, can be set free!
(Chorus) x2
Tag
I've made a lot of mistakes, this aint one of em!
-David
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 14th, 2008
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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Um... It moved all the chords I had to the margin. That's not cool. I'll try and fix it tomorrow but I'm going to bed right now.
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 14th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Last Online: 4 Hours Ago 10:55 AM
Location: Appox.6522 guitar lengths N. of Detroit USA
Posts: 4,880
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Great job, really impressive considering that you just started this...I'll be looking forward to watching this blossom into a finished tune....Have you a way to record it so you can share it with us{maybe}?
"To play without passion is unexcusable" - Ludwig Van Beethoven
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April 15th, 2008
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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Thanks
I might be able to use the recorder on my camera, but that's about it.
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 15th, 2008
|
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Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Last Online: May 3rd, 2008 05:24 PM
Location: Arkansas Ozarks
Posts: 82
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I was gonna come on this mornin and put music to the second half, but I had to fix the first half, so here it is.
Forgive Me[(Rewrite 2)Still]
Intro
Bm...... D...... Am... C
Verse1
Bm............... D
Baby please forgive me,
Am .....................Em
I know that as of lately,
C ...............................D
My love seems kinda Dainty,
Am.................................Em
And my eyes look on so faintly.
Bm D Am Em
Bm ..................D
But we're losin what we had,
Am .................Em
I bet your dad's really glad,
C ..................D
It's all my fault, I feel so bad,
Am ....................................Em ...........Am
But I'm thankful foooorrr... what, we, Had!
Chorus
Bm ....................Am
So baby please forgive me,
Em ............................C
I hope someday that maybe,
Em ....................D
You will be able to forgive me,
Bm..................D .........................Am ........Em
Then my heart, can be set free
Bm ....................Am
So baby please forgive me,
Em ................................C
I hope somewhere that maybe,
Em .........................D
I won't hurt inside on the daily
Bm .................D ....................Am ............Em
Then my love, can be set free
Music (not sure what yet)
Verse2
Love is like a tickin time bomb,
But were we oh so wrong?
We both new the way was wrong,
But for the ride we went along.
Bm D Am Em
I love you, please don't hate me,
You really oughta thank me,
I see that you can't still love me,
Now your soul, can be set free!
(Chorus) x2
Tag
I've made a lot of mistakes, this aint one of em!
"So baby please forgive me,/I hope somewhere that maybe,/I won't hurt inside on the daily/Then my love, can be set free"
-Me
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April 15th, 2008
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 |
Grand Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Last Online: 33 Minutes Ago 02:38 PM
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 3,774
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Hi Buchanan, Nice song, pop over to the home studio forum, there's a lot of information on there, Tekker has some good lessons on getting started with home recording and the guys here have a lot of knowledge so they'll help you get started, have you got a microphone with your computer? well done with this song, like what you've done with it 
You don't stop laughing when you grow old; you grow old when you stop laughing.
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April 15th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for what seems like forever.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Last Online: 3 Days Ago 02:48 PM
Location: Alabama
Posts: 4,790
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Buchanan,
Nice start and good job on the rewrites. It looks like this is taking off very nicely. I am looking forward to hearing the finished product.
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April 15th, 2008
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Full Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Last Online: 21 Hours Ago 06:05 PM
Location: Canada
Posts: 648
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Wow David,
It's looking really good. I can you are an aspiring songwriter/musician. Good for you and you have a great start! Can't wait to hear the tune. I started playing guitar around your age, but had no inclination to write songs or just didn't know how to go about it.
Nutty.
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The GfB&B Guitar Slide Rule
Download the PDF of the 'Guitar Chord Slide Rule', print it out, fold it together and you'll have at your disposal a very neat tool that will not only show you all the positions for the main flavors of chords, but will also teach you a very important lesson about how the guitar works... It consists of a folded sleeve and six double sided inserts, instructions for cutting it out and folding it together are included with the PDF ... it's very simple to do, and if you botch it, you can simply print it out again!
Buy it now for only $10 |
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