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| Songwriting Ask any questions you have about songwriting here. |
February 15th, 2008
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Newcomer
Playing guitar for over 10 years.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Last Online: February 29th, 2008 12:07 PM
Location: harwich, ma usa
Posts: 4
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hey, murder
copyright 2008 Alan Segal
hey, murder
a man exploded on the stairs/
who cares/ do his pieces matter/
growing fatter in the news/
he wasn't going anywhere/
unfair/ real life had just begun/
he'd won/ out for kicks/
for fun/ was he someone's son/
what a shame/ what's his name
life's work/ it's all the rage/
murder here/ murder there/
sure to make the front page/
murder me/ murder you/
revenge you know was overdue
the blast was rather loud/
a crowd/ who really knew the facts/
one act laid his audience back/
he wasn't finished yet/
no sweat/ hands too cold and still/
what will/ heart like a brick/
the kill/ in for the thrill/
what's his name/ what a shame
life's worth/ bird in a cage/
murder here/ murder there/
our time in the atomic age/
murder me/ murder you/
time to rendevous
all the sitting ducks got popped/
stopped/ everybody back to bed/
dead/ thirty-one or slightly more/
want to watch the video/
hullo/ don't forget remote control/
dig a foxhole/ do the arithmetic/
see the black hole/ run it up the flagpole/
what a shame/ what's his name
your acclaim/ become a brand name/
one more electronic game/
all the same/ it's still a shame/
you're the only one to claim/
the blame/ for our times/
from our times/ for our lives
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February 15th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Last Online: 20 Hours Ago 07:07 PM
Location: Appox.6522 guitar lengths N. of Detroit USA
Posts: 4,893
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Nice job Alan, I like it...nice flow..gives to me a feel of Dylan as I read it, sort of "Subterranean homesick blues" feel.............Kenny
"To play without passion is unexcusable" - Ludwig Van Beethoven
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February 15th, 2008
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Newcomer
Playing guitar for over 10 years.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Last Online: February 29th, 2008 12:07 PM
Location: harwich, ma usa
Posts: 4
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Thank you,
Given the college shooting of today, I consider the lyrics very relevant. I can hear it in a variety of genres; not rap, so much, but punk or even John Prine...Thank you, Alan
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February 15th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for over a year.
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Last Online: 20 Hours Ago 07:07 PM
Location: Appox.6522 guitar lengths N. of Detroit USA
Posts: 4,893
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Relevant is too true, wasn't thinking about that at the time, just the dark side of people as a whole.
"To play without passion is unexcusable" - Ludwig Van Beethoven
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February 18th, 2008
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Grand Member
Playing guitar for what seems like forever.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Last Online: 19 Minutes Ago 02:52 PM
Location: Alabama
Posts: 4,811
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Alan,
Good job on the lyrics, if you don't mind I rearranged the words a little to make it easier for me to read, flows a little better:
"A man exploded on the stairs
Who cares
Do his pieces matter
growing fatter
In the news
he wasn't going anywhere
unfair
Real life had just begun
he'd won
Out for kicks
for fun
Was he someone's son
What a shame
What's his name"
Just a suggestion, nice job.
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February 18th, 2008
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Newcomer
Playing guitar for over 10 years.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Last Online: February 29th, 2008 12:07 PM
Location: harwich, ma usa
Posts: 4
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hey, murder.....thanks knight 46
Thanks, knight, the lyrics as you altered the placement not only look but are more 'accessible'.......I really appreciate the input.....Alan
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