[knight46]

Again as always all comments are welcomed...

The Man

Beside the road at the edge of town
On a dusty summers day
A traveler sat in the shade of a tree
To rest along the way
His clothes were torn and tattered
With dust from a thousand trails
The face shaded beneath an old hat
Was weathered, tired and quite frail

The knapsack he carried had seen better days
Long before it came to this host
But it carried all his worldly goods
Those things he cherished most
And when he was tired and couldn’t go on
His treasures would bring him peace
He would sit and reflect on memories past
And sometimes he would grieve

He reached to the bottom of his sack of life
And pulled out a ribbon of green
It had once belonged to a girl with blue eyes
That he treated as if she were a Queen
He lost her one night when the cold wind blew
But her memory always remained
Forever locked in minds eye
Beautiful, laughing and true

The sun has eased itself from the sky
To rest from the toil of the day
The old man still sits in the dark of the tree
His face is relaxed, almost gay
Clutched tight in his hand is the ribbon of green
Whose presents had brought him such peace
And the memories once locked in his heart
Are free now his grieving is ceased

[X4StringDrive]

Another nice one Knight, when are we going to hear one of them?

[knight46]

Thanks again Kenny, hopefully I will be able set some to tune this weekend.

[starsailor]

This is good as well Knight, a great song with a strong storyline I like your style

[johnnydoxx]

I think you meant to use the word 'presence' instead of 'presents' in the last verse.

[X4StringDrive]

Originally Posted by johnnydoxx

I think you meant to use the word 'presence' instead of 'presents' in the last verse.

Ah yes JD, but maybe the girl it belonged to wore it as a negligee, so the "presents" may be fitting lol

[windsong]

knight, your lyrics leaves one to his or her's imagination of experience in life, so much feeling was felt in your lyrics as if you were painting someones life picture. there was closeness and connection in your writing GREAT

windsong

[billywhitebread]

ok out of all you have submitted this is by far your best work...good story, descriptive and emotional...i can see a bob segar "turn the page" melody or a nice slow country ballad with this piece...its not as dark or as confusing as previous submisions...in short this one works and reveals your "true" talent... the others just seemed that you tried too hard to make them work in order to satisfy someone else...stay true to yourself with work like this...i give this one a serious thumbs up dude..

[carol m]

I like this one too Knight. I worry a bit about you using the word 'gay'. I don't know how much that word is used in the States, but over here its never used anymore with the meaning you intend, so I think that might be a distraction for some listeners.

[eddiez152]

Knight,
This is a darn nice writing.

[knight46]

Thanks to you all for the comments and taking the time to read.

Starsailor - Thanks for always being so supportive.

Johnny - You are correct that should have been "presence" although Kenny has a point

Windsong - Thanks for the kind words.

Billy - Wow thanks for that...that was the feeling I was looking for. Somethings flow and some are contrived for the sake of words on a page. I guess the difference is the connection to what it is you are writting about.

Carol - Thanks for the comments and support. That is also a typo, the word should have been "gray" not "gay".

Eddiez - Thanks that means a lot.

[knight46]

I have completed a minor rewrite of these lyrics and added a chorus. I have a type of song in mind and have included an acappella version. Please excuse the recording and the vocals.
All comments and suggestions welcome.

The Man

{V1}
Beside the road at the edge of town
On a dusty summers day
A traveler sits in the shade of a tree
To rest along the way
His clothes are torn and tattered
With dust from a thousand trails
His face shaded beneath an old felt hat
Is weathered, tired and frail

{V2}
The knapsack he carries had seen better days
Long before it came to this host
But it carries all his worldly goods
Those things he’s cherished most
And when he was tired and couldn’t go on
His treasures would bring him peace
He would sit and reflect on memories past
And sometimes he would grieve

{Chorus}
For memories are all we have
To hold at the end of the day
When time and tide have passed us by
As we go along life’s way

{V3}
He reached into of his sack of life
Pulled out a ribbon of green
It belonged to the girl with dancing eyes
That he treated as if she were a Queen
He lost his love, long years ago
One night when the cold wind blew
But her memory’s forever locked in his mind
Beautiful, laughing and true

{Chorus}
For memories are all we have
To hold at the end of the day
When time and tide have passed us by
As we go along life’s way

{V4}
The sun has eased itself from the sky
To rest from the toil of the day
The old man still sits in the dark of the tree
His face is relaxed, almost gray
Clutched tight in his hand is the ribbon of green
Whose presents had brought him such peace
And the memories once locked in his heart
Are free now his grieving has ceased

{Chorus}
For memories are all we have
To hold at the end of the day
When time and tide have passed us by
As we go along life’s way
As we go along life’s way

[starsailor]

Great to hear you knight, neat delivery on the Acapella and it is a good song the rewrite works well and the chorus fits in nicely, you're a good storyteller as well, look forward to the finished version, great job Knight

[knight46]

Thanks Chris, much appreciated.

[X4StringDrive]

Pretty cool Knight, looking forward to the rest of it...