I Won't Say Goodbye - rewrite of The Last Thing I Want To Do

Lcjones · #1 October 21st, 2007

Folks,
Apologies for the vocals....I'm sporting a cold....
(...note uploaded a better vocal tonight ...10/22/07@2025)
(...uploaded version with harmony and some lead guitar 10/23/07@0017)

And thank you for all the input and suggestions on this tune! It's a bit pop-ish, which I was hoping to find.

The tune from the other night, The Last Thing I Want To Do, pretty much had an overhaul, The melody is almost the same. I threw in the chords it anyone wants to play along. I do play the F chord with the Hi E string open, an Fmaj7.

Here's the re-write and new recording.....

I Won't Say Goodbye - Hifi @ 128 [3.6MB @ 3:50]

I Won't Say GoodBye - Super Hi-Fidelity @ 192 [5.7Mb @ 3:50]

I Won't Say Goodbye
------------------------------------
Chapman Jones (c)10/18/07 ASCAP Capo 3 (C/Fness)

[V1]
C..................................... F
We seem to fit like a pair of gloves
C ....................................... F
Someone might assume we're in love
Dm ...... EM .......F
As we sit over coffee
Em ................G ...............F
Looking in to each others eyes
C ................... F.............................. G
How could they know you're leaving tonight

[V2]
You made your plans to move away
I won't deny I'm dismayed
I hate to let you go
I'll send along my best
I'll miss your sweet caress

[Chorus]
F..........G......................F
Passion must have gone awry
F....................G....................Am
My senses are begging to know why
C............F.............................G
But I will never say goodbye
F.....G...............C
I won't say goodbye

[V3]
I sit alone in the chair
You made it known you didn't care (anymore)
My coffee's cold
My heart is broke
Sometimes it seems there is no hope

[Chorus]
Passion must have gone awry
My senses are begging to know why
But I will never say goodbye
I won't say goodbye

X4StringDrive · #2 October 21st, 2007

Much better IMO Les, even with the cold, sounds good. I luv how "I'll miss your sweet caress" comes across....lots of feeling expressed with your vox ....nice tune.

allthumbs · #3 October 21st, 2007

Much better Les. A few observations though.
But I will never say goodbye
F.....G...............C
I won't say goodbye
The above comes across a bit like a stalker, almost a threat.

I sit alone in the chair
You made it known you didn't care (anymore)
My coffee's cold
My heart is broke
Sometimes it seems there is no hope

The don't care line doesn't make sense in context of staring into each others eyes in the first verse. I would drop that line. It has a different feel to the rest of the tune.

I'm sitting across from her empty chair,
reading coffee stains to see what's there.
My coffee's cold,
My heart is broke,
Now I know there is no hope.

Something like that. I would change the last line because she is moving away so there is no hope or the whole song above wouldn't be taking place.
Just my opinion.

Lcjones · #4 October 21st, 2007

Thanks guys.

AT,

Hmm. I didn't see the "stalker" thing at all. Never occurred to me it could be taken that way. I'll have to mull that one over.

The last verse was a real struggle. I groped for hours. Your thoughts are sharp and much more visual. I also think I haven't set the story up as best it could be in the first verse.

Thanks again.

LC

Aunt Doty · #5 October 21st, 2007

I like it. You can look into someones eyes and still be imparting bad news.......so for me it fits!

What about......My heart will never say goodbye ( maybe that would satisfy AT's idea of stalking) however I didn't hear it that way.

Good song Les!

carol m · #6 October 22nd, 2007

I like this better in every way. The singing sounds more relaxed and 'easlier', and I like the drums being less dominant, but the best thing I like is the main guitar which can now be heard much better and is fantastic playing - I love that jingle jangle Tom Petty sound. Great. Are you planning any harmony vocals?

Lcjones · #7 October 22nd, 2007

**

Hey guys,

Thanks for having a listen and adding comments.

Jangle...... I love the jangle. I'm a jangle head!

Carol, I was working on harmonies tonight but I couldn't get it together so I'll wait a day or two. I'm working on a bit of a rewrite as well. Though, it's just a simple tune. Not too sure how much rewrite I want to do on it.

Thanks again,

**

Hilch · #8 October 22nd, 2007

Very Nice Les

Man I have to learn faster

knight46 · #9 October 22nd, 2007

+1 to Carol's comments Les, much more relaxed and a very strong Petty influence. Very Nice.

fireblade · #10 October 22nd, 2007

I liked that a lot Les, nice feel to it. Great playing too.

FB

Lcjones · #11 October 22nd, 2007

Folks,

Thanks for listening and your input!

I've uploaded a bit better vocal.....

**

X4StringDrive · #12 October 22nd, 2007

Constantly improving it Les, I like this more and more everytime I listen to it.

Lcjones · #13 October 23rd, 2007

Thanks guys.

For those interested, I've uploaded a version with harmonies and lead guitar. No rewrite......

**

knight46 · #14 October 23rd, 2007

Les always interested in your work.
This was very good, I liked it a lot.

Lcjones · #15 3 Weeks Ago

Well, you never know what will happen to a song. After almost a year being untouched, an Internet podcast wishes to include this tune in a weekly program called BT CountyCast . Go figure. LOL

I haven't listened to this in a long, long time. The vocals are sad. Off key for sure. Cripes. The only redeeming value is the Rickenbacker. Gawd, I love that thing! I need another one!

Anyway... as it stands, I've given them the go-ahead. I don't know when it will air or what people might think of it.

But there you have it. The moral of the story is, you have absolutely no clue who will hear what you do and what they might think of it!

**
LC