[Toxer]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/greenysun_music.htm
)say something about it...
it's my first complited music
it was recorded using 3$ microphone & guiter bilt in '88 (the year of my birth in fact so we are of the same age)
i dont know much in editing recorded song so it is just recorded...no effects) and i lost drums as they were in midi...

it isn't goin to be published anywhere...i just wanna know about the music itself - how do you find it)

[allthumbs]

hi toxwr. your sond doesn't clear til tomorrow. I look forward to having a listen.

[allthumbs]

good first attempt. Maybe could use a little more structure and melodic direction but, a fine start. Keep twanging.

[Kirk Lorange]

Hi Toxer.

I think the second clip definitely shows promise, you're getting some nice clean notes there and there's a good vibe to the feel. Good stuff.

Kirk

[Toxer]

thanks...
i thought it's too light-hearted, is it?

em...i don't know musical theory...at least in english)
if you menn that it's "boring" - i thought it to backin track for a song...

so as i understood you think im not hopless?)

[allthumbs]

I also am working on song structure and understanding how to build strong melodies so thats what I focused on listening to your tune. I think of music as telling a story. There is usually a beginning, middle and end of some kind which is the structure,A,B,A,B being the simplest or working through chord progressions ie, I,vi,IV,V. I heard a hollywood script writer describe, for movies, what I think applies perfectly to writing music. He said most successfull movies contain four or five uh ohs and at least one "oh my God , hows he going to get out of this one?". He is talking about tension and resolution,same as in music. The" OH m God" moment would be the break or bridge.
A lot of blues is light hearted so that is not a consideration unless you were trying to tell a sad story.
I didn't know you were thinking of this tune as a B.T. when I started writing this so what i said above doesn't appy as strongly as if you were writing a full tune. You still need a good understanding of song stucture but, the lead instument can take most of the responsibility for playing the melody so thats not as crucial for a B.T. As I said in my first reply to your original post, Your doing good, don't worry about it.

[Toxer]

i've heard about it...) but in fact never payed attention to such a thing.

I'll start another topic in "off topic" - about polyrhithmics...

[randy_mc]

Hey Toxer,

I liked your playing.
Maybe a little tighter arrangement would be cool, but you've got the right direction. Keep it up!

Randy

[Schermerberger]

Hi Toxer,
I hope this isn't too late. I liked the "First" song the best. Especially if you could hear the tap of a foot in the recording. You should crank out some more of those down-home traditional blues songs. Keep Going!!!