[tomg123]

Here's a bluesy piece i pieced together with some practice runs, some lyrics i never finished and stuff like vibrato, and slides i don't practice enough. There's some effects and 4 tracks and a key change toward the middle which you will notice i'm sure

comments welcome espeically on this one

[allthumbs]

Some nice moments in there. The second bit sounds almost oriental in your note choices. It deserves a tune of its' own. The first bit is cool You could add the root note here and there or alternating bass to flesh it out. Some nice slide lead over the shuffle bit would sound good too. Develop your lyrics for it and you have yourself a tune. Good start.

[tomg123]

Thanks allthumbs, I need more theory training and a teacher at this point probably. I tend to discover these riffs without much understanding behind them. The bass riff does need some slide or something added your right. Those lyrics were a chorus part to some verses i had, but my skills weren't advanced enough to do anymore with it

[carol m]

I'm not experienced enough in electric to offer advice, but I really liked it - good singing too. IMO it's definately worth working on. Good luck

[Kirk Lorange]

There are some great ideas there, tomg123, very musical pastiche you've put together there. I really do think you should brush up on some basic theory (focus on chords and the notes within) so that you can underpin what's obviously a natural talent you have for writing songs with some knowledge of how it all works. There'd be no stopping you then.

Love your voice!

[Hey]

Like kirk said, some good ideas you have there, but needs a little work.

[tomg123]

Hi kirk, I get very frustrated with theory beyond the basics i seem to be very dense. I have read about it on forums and the net. If i want to go beyond just learning by luck i will need personal lessons. I can write lyrics, put chords to em and listen to what notes sound good with em but its trial and error

Thanks carol and Hey

[CanuckTodd]

Originally Posted by tomg123

Hi kirk, I get very frustrated with theory beyond the basics i seem to be very dense. I have read about it on forums and the net. If i want to go beyond just learning by luck i will need personal lessons. I can write lyrics, put chords to em and listen to what notes sound good with em but its trial and error

Thanks carol and Hey

I liked your tune Tomg!

I know what you mean about theory Tom. I've read lots of theory, and Kirk, allthumbs, Tekker, Fretsource and others here are great and patient teachers. I think it will help me down the road, but I think I've got to dabble around and experiment, then it starts to make more sense. To me it's a bit like trying to read and understand the Bible or John Donne's poems if you can barely read Dick & Jane.

[GT]

I think there are several parts that make the listener lost the atention. Why dont you try and make an smaller/solid track instead the whole 1:55 intro? They seem 2 diferent songs. Keep on

[tomg123]

I've read lots of theory, and Kirk, allthumbs, Tekker, Fretsource and others here are great and patient teachers.

I do listen to these guys, last nite the site was down for a while so i checked out kirks lesson on what is music. It was helpful, but i need to read it over many times because once i get past the easy stuff things go fuzzy, but each a little more sinks in

GT, I was thinking that long beginning would be boring, as a matter of fact the whole thing is like an intro to something. I put up things like that sometimes to show (maybe the teachers here) something new i did as if i invented it ...maybe a cover next time