24 replies to this topic

[carol m]

Everything's a bit quiet so see if anyone can do something with these lines that arrived this afternoon - they carry a mega tear-jerker warning. It's not very commercial or 'pop' but anyway, steal, mash, change whatever - if you think you can do something/anything with them, or some of them, I'd be more than pleased.

It's quite long, and a lot of words, but see what you think.

The Mountains of the Moon

v1
I remember those times, in the Mountains of the Moon
That's a long time ago now, do you remember them too?
We were both young - I was in love with you then
Did you ever even know that, that I loved you back then?

v2
That was a time, I'd do anything I could
To please you, and show you that (at least) I understood
How you'd never be tied, to one person through time
It didn't matter to me then, I still wanted you to be mine/wished you were mine

Bridge
Loving someone that much can be hard
You know it's a risk, but you choose not to lose
The love of your life, at least while it lasts
You take it, and keep it, buried deep in your heart

v3
I guess you were happy, to have me around
At least for a while till someone better was found
It took me a long time, to see where that lead
Back then I even dreamed that one day we'd wed

v4
Now I sometimes think back to that house that we shared
In the Mountains of the Moon when, for a while, you still cared
I guess I've moved on, I don't think much these days
How you finally left me, and we went separate ways

v5
For some reason today, the Mountains of the Moon
Floated back to my mind when I heard a sad tune
And I thought about how, you're still moving along
How many places are there, where you no longer belong?/where you no more belong?
Outro
How many hearts are there, that were broken too soon
Like mine was back then, in the Mountains of the Moon.

I just thought it's possible to use that outro as a short chorus higher up the song as well?

[Doug]

Beautiful lyrics, Carol. You capture that pensive, wishful reminiscent painful feel very well. Great line too - Mountains of the Moon.
-Doug

[sheraton]

oh aye lovin these lyrics Carol......got a wee idea on this one

[carol m]

Thanks people - looking forward to your wee idea Paul!

[starsailor]

Cool title Carol, love these lyrics

[eddiez152]

Heartbreak all over the place. Nice

[foss]

Very poetic.

Love the title too.

[allthumbs]

If I ever get my mic to work, I will take a crack at this one.

[carol m]

allthumbs, on 09 October 2010 - 11:33 AM, said:

If I ever get my mic to work, I will take a crack at this one.

On'ya Marty! Looking forward to it.

[carol m]

Thanks everyone I haven't already thanked, it's appreciated.

[hearinvoices]

Like these lyrics a lot Carol !!! very very nice !

Johnny

[sheraton]

ok Carol....this is first take...work in progress.....lots of mistakes on all tracks.... this is just really my guide guitar and vocal track i just added a quick bassline and real sketchy ruff lead guitar........thought it worth posting tho......will post more finished version a.s.a.p












Paul.........................

Attached Files

•  mountains of the moon test.wma   4.22MB   10 downloads

[carol m]

I'm dying to hear what you've done Paul but for some reason my Quicktime player app has evaporated into cyberspace and refuses to come back even though I've re-downloaded it to my Mac (twice, unfortunately but it still doesn't work/open) - that's what I need to play a wmv via Flipmac4 - I'm working on a workaround, and hopefully I'll hear it soon - I'm sure it's brilliant!

[sheraton]

sorry Carol........converted to mp3

Attached Files

•  mountains of the moon test.mp3   13.93MB   8 downloads

[carol m]

Well I was right! It is brilliant! And acoustic as well, I was wondering if you'd do it electric or acoustic - I was hoping for acoustic because that's how I'd imagined it (nothing wrong with electric of course) That was brilliant guitar playing at the end too - impelling even. Thank you so much Paul, you really did a great job on it.

I'm curious (only), did you leave out the last verse because it was already quite long? I liked how you repeated the bridge to give the verses a lift.

So far there's only 1 other in-house opinion and it was 'That's really good!' (they are always surprised if anyone ever uses my lyrics in a song, but that's just them) so that's high praise indeed, and then towards the end, "He's a really good guitar player, isn't he!" - I agreed 100%, of course.

Edit 5 mins later: and great for practicing strumming to!

[starsailor]

Wow, this is great Paul, cool arrangement and performance, it's an excellent song, nice work on this Paul and Carol, fine lyrics and a fine song, sounds like a hit record to me

[carol m]

Yes, didn't he do well!

[sheraton]

cheers Carol and Chris....too kind of course......Carols' excellent lyrics mean it's hard to go too far wrong
i would like to tidy this up a bit....there are a few good mistakes here...lol

Carol....i was thinkin of adding electric guitar, but i'm needing new strings (broke one a while ago)
and yeah the last verse, with it being quite long and i thought the 4th verse was a good conclusion
now i sometimes think back..........finally left me and we went our seperate ways
the last verse as much as i like it, seemed unnecessary.... just felt like it was starting the song again:dunno:


Paul..........

[starsailor]

sheraton, on 11 October 2010 - 06:56 AM, said:

cheers Carol and Chris....too kind of course......Carols' excellent lyrics mean it's hard to go too far wrong
i would like to tidy this up a bit....there are a few good mistakes here...lol

Carol....i was thinkin of adding electric guitar, but i'm needing new strings (broke one a while ago)
and yeah the last verse, with it being quite long and i thought the 4th verse was a good conclusion
now i sometimes think back..........finally left me and we went our seperate ways
the last verse as much as i like it, seemed unnecessary.... just felt like it was starting the song again:dunno:


Paul..........

They are good lyrics to work with, I was doing a bit of my simple picking and singing it yesterday, wasn't as good as this but the lyrics are great to work with. It was a good demo Paul, I think it works well at that length, don't really think it should be any longer, just my opinion though, be cool to bring the electric in it does have a good vibe and the electric would complement what you've done already, what kind of strings do you need for your electric ? I can send some up if you want

[allthumbs]

Great stuff.