[lorsban]

Hello everyone,

This song is called "Grey." It's the second song I completed. I started with a fingerstyle riff, added some embellishments and then laid down the bass and drum tracks using the same machine I used for "Everything." I apologize for the bass, it's a little over the top.

I lastly added a lead guitar melody. I wasn't too happy with the tone, I wanted a "round" sound with a bit of overdrive.

Anyway, I'd appreciate your comments since I'm also going to redo this song. Initially, I wanted to lengthen it and improve the lead guitar tone (maybe a clean acoustic sound or something close to mark knopfler's tone - good luck haha).

Thanks for listening!

regards,

lorsban

[allthumbs]

I agree about the lead guitar tone, You need something warmer. Sounds good.

[lorsban]

Hello allthumbs,

Yeah, the lead tone's kinda bleh. I was thinking about an acoustic lead but then there are already too many clean parts and I can't get the same kind of sustain from a clean tone - without delay or reverb. But, then again with just a little overdrive plus the right amount of delay plus chorus, I think I'd get a pretty good tone. Again, gotta experiment. It doesn't quite sound the same from an amp than direct to digital.

Anyway, did you find the song too short? What do you think would make the song better (besides the lead tone)?

Thanks again!

lorsban

[windsong]

hey lorsban, I thought you had a steady beat throughout, the volume was way to low, as if you were holding back. experimenting is part of the game and i thought you were doing quite well

windsong

[lorsban]

Originally Posted by windsong

hey lorsban, I thought you had a steady beat throughout, the volume was way to low, as if you were holding back. experimenting is part of the game and i thought you were doing quite well

windsong

Yeah the volume's weird on this recorder. For some reason even if the volume's low, the warning lights already start coming off and there's already some distortion and clipping. I'm still trying to figure out what's wrong.

My other problem is it doesn't represent the bass frequency very well during playback on the machine. With earphones it sounds weak but when I play it on a system with a woofer, it's like BOOM BOOM!

If in case I'm able to improve, I'll probably invest in a better recorder from Fostex or tascam or something. I used to have a recorder by Fostex that had excellent recording volume.

[thodwris]

Hello lorsban...
That sounds great for just your second recording,congratulations !If you want to try a warmer tone try playing with clean effects adding a bit of sustain.To be sincere,I didn't find anything wrong with your tune,I like it a lot just the way it is.I like the contrast betwwen the rythm and the lead guitars...On the other hand I am no expert,just saying m opinion ...
All the best,
Theo

[lorsban]

Hey Theo,

Thank you very much! You're really too kind. In all honesty, it takes me a long time to write a song because I start off with just a riff - which in this case was the opening riff. Then I add more parts and layers. That could take weeks. Putting it all on a recorder takes me a day to get the timing/sequence/balances ok.

I still have a ways to go in terms of my technical ability and also on choosing the right tone for the song as well as on the recording process itself - it's all automated but it can still get tricky.

If you want an idea of what I think are great instumentals; listen to Joe Satriani's Always with me, always with you; Andy Timmons' Electric Gypsy; Steve Vai's Dying Day; Eric Johnson's Cliffs of Dover. There are countless others but that for me is a good gauge of where I wanna be. I probably won't get there for another dozen years or so but oh well...

About the tone, I'm kind of kicking myself for choosing that one. I'll experiment with some cleaner one's when I get around to the updated version. Thanks for the suggestion.

regards,

lorsban

[thodwris]

Hello lorsban...
I know what you are going through for coming up with a song and recording it.I recorded one song up to now and a couple of demo's just to experiment.A couple of days ago I tried a version of Fur Elise using piano,electric guitarand backing keyboard.It takes me more that one day to get things right...As we are only at the beginning(I don't compare with you as you play fantastic on your guitar)it will tale a lot of time to accomodate with recordings and making songs.But in the end it is all a matter of experience.As we go on we will find it the more and more easier to improvise and record.The only advice I feel I have to give you is to work your songs with the same dedication as now,I think you are doing an excellent job...
I knoe the guitarists that you mentioned besides Eric Johnson and Andy Timmons.You forgot to add to the list Gary Moore ...
As for the tone,just do what you think it's right!It's good to improve your playing technique and skills,but changing a lot the way you "invent" your songs would be to change yourself!Keep your originality,it is the thing that gets you going,it is you in that songs!At least that's my humble opinion...
All the best,
Theo

[allthumbs]

In my opinion there is too much distortion. It is muddying up your tone. Try adding compression. More reverb is a good idea and using the neck-middle pickups might also get you closer to the tone your looking for.
The length is fine.

[lorsban]

The only advice I feel I have to give you is to work your songs with the same dedication as now,

Hey Theo,

That's actually my problem these days. I wrote this song about 5 years ago and I was able to put it on tape about 2 years after. So, I had all the sequencing down except for the lead part, which I recorded after all the main parts were on there already.

I haven't done any recording since then but when my copy of Plane Talk arrives and when I understand it better, I'll definitely give it another go.

In my opinion there is too much distortion. It is muddying up your tone.

I agree. I think it's also the type of distortion used. It sounds weird, honestly. Funny how bad choices seem like the best thing since fried chicken at the time you came up with them.

What I'll do next is try just a little overdrive with some delay and reverb and see how it goes. For this song, I think that's the way to go.

Thanks for the advice!

[lorsban]

Hey guys,

I've made an update to "Grey" have a listen and let me know what else I can do to improve it.

I changed the lead guitar tone and made a little change to the ending. I also reduced the bass and made the overall volume as loud as possible without it distorting.

Thanks again!

lorsban

[allthumbs]

Sounds like you were getting clipping in there in places. The tone is getting warmer. Could be fatter but, that may just be my taste. Coming along.

[lorsban]

Originally Posted by allthumbs

Sounds like you were getting clipping in there in places. The tone is getting warmer. Could be fatter but, that may just be my taste. Coming along.

Clipping? Would you mind specifying which areas? Because it sounded fine during playback. Anyway, I'll check it again. Still getting the hang of setting the levels.

About the tone, I tried a fatter tone but it made it muddy in some parts. I was using a Les Paul by epiphone so that may be it. I'll try it with another guitar later. Or maybe mess around with the effects more.

I appreciate all the input. It'll all be of great help when I put out the 3rd version. I'm planning to work on the melody, improve the drum parts and improve the ending.

Anyway, thanks again!

lorsban

[thodwris]

Hello lorsban....
That is very good,very good.I like very much the recording,excellent job!The mood of the song is very "Metallica" as I see it.Especially with that tone on the guitar.I will repeat on emore time that I like both takes.To me,your song seems very well prepared and interpreted,congratulations !!
All the best,
Theo

[lorsban]

Thanks Theo!

My friend made the same "Metallica" comment before as well. He even mentioned about putting a heavy part. Not sure about that though since it'll change the overall theme or vibe of the song. It's an option though.

Anyway, it's a work in progress so I'll be posting updates. As always, I appreciate your input.

Thanks again!

lorsban