[AX7221]

Here's a jam I just recorded. Right after I listened to it I realized I still need to let it breathe more . Anyways I was able to do an improve that was stylistically different from my other ones, like for eg its not real sad sounding (still a minor key too which is interesting). So any and all feedback is appreciated, espishally critiques. (towards the end I tried playing w/o the backing but it didn't work out)

[allthumbs]

That is coming along. You need to tighten up the chord changes a bit in the BT. There were some nice moments in there. Keep it up.

[AX7221]

Originally Posted by allthumbs

That is coming along. You need to tighten up the chord changes a bit in the BT. There were some nice moments in there. Keep it up.

Thank you for the encouragement, will do!

[Hilch]

Thats very Kool man

Lovely tones happening

Trev..

[__tsidewinder__]

"I still need to let it breathe more"

I'm not one to talk, but I can agree with that.

I really liked the part around 1:40. A great little melody there.

"towards the end I tried playing w/o the backing but it didn't work out"

I disagree, I liked the change. Like the Change itself, the fact that it was something different, and the actual lead. Hmm. I'll try to be clearer. I liked the parts before it, but the fact that you changed the BT a bit there added interest, and the quality of the improf stayed the same. Well, thats my amateur opinion anyway.

At 0.22 something really good was going on for a few seconds, it really caught my ear, it was syncopation or something, I don't know but it sounded really good.

Also the little line at 1:14 I really liked as well. It right away made me think of someone saying something, and so I think thats a really good thing, its something I try to do but can't. It was like you said something with the guitar at 1:14, and then sort of explained further at 1:17. Love it.

I have one critique which isn't so positive, but I won't tell you unless you want to hear it. This is because I'm really not that good at improf (yet), and I'd sort of be a hypocrite for saying it.

Anyhow, good work overall, keep going.

[AX7221]

Originally Posted by __tsidewinder__

I have one critique which isn't so positive, but I won't tell you unless you want to hear it. This is because I'm really not that good at improf (yet), and I'd sort of be a hypocrite for saying it.

Thank you tsidewinder and hilch for you comments. Tsidewinder, I went to each part of the track to hear what you were talking about. As for the critique, please please please do let me know. I appreciate the comments on what I did well, but I always greatly prefer the negative ones so I can get better . Even if you aren't real good at improvising don't hold back, you're good at listening right?

[tomg123]

Sounded good, you slipped on a few notes no big deal. You may
want to try again without trying to fit in too many notes, maybe
thats what you mean by breathe. In other words instead of another
note, just slide, or bend...sustain some notes. That will slow it down
so its easier to play. Hope it helps i'm not really an expert myself

[AX7221]

ty tomg123, i'll try that out

[knight46]

Pretty cool Ax, coming along nicely. +1 to sidewinders remark, a real nice melodic lick at the 1:14 mark also agree to let it breath a little.

[krissovo]

1:14 again a big thumbs up from me
1:40 I really got into from here
2:30 I enjoyed the endding very much

All in all i am pants at improv so once again I feel out of place to pass comment.

[__tsidewinder__]

"I appreciate the comments on what I did well, but I always greatly prefer the negative ones so I can get better"

Yeah, me too.

Ok, well I was just going to PM you, but I'll say it publicly so someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

But, the one thing I noticed that wasn't so great was the lack of direction. This wasn't always the case, in some parts you did go somewhere, but then you "turned back" sort of.

An example of where you started going somewhere is at 0:27. Then you sort of stopped traveling at about 0:33.

I don't think theres a formula for how to make music move, but crescendos really help I find. Again, I'm not that good at improf, I'm just trying to hit good notes and make a good lick when I improvise, I can't really concentrate on much else yet. But you might be at the point where you can use dynamics while improvising.

Also, a general climax might be good. I think there was one coming on around 1:53, but it slowed down right at 1:58. It was leading somewhere, almost got there, and then the excitement building was lost.

When the BT changed, I felt a bit of a change in direction, which was good. I guess thats why it grabbed me the first time, and why I liked the change. It was like a resolution.

I'm guessing that if you let the music breathe a bit like you said could help the direction as well, so you can get two birds with one stone perhaps that way.

So, theres my very inexperianced advice. Take it if you would, but keep in mind I can't do these things yet.

Anyone disagree with me in ANY way, do post it. Theres always subjectiveness about things like this, and I've been wrong before.

[agent0064life]

I had my elec plugged into the computer when I was listening to this and it was REAL fun to play leads over it... nice job

[billywhitebread]

i like it and where you are going with it however it seemed too busy in the beginning...from 1:40 on to the end was great...seemed to fit the bt...the first bit was confusing for me, almost like trying to catch your footing and off balance....the end though really caught my attention and held it.....overall i really like it

[Andy S]

Sorry for jumping off the topic, but this is a serious concern....for Hilch!!

Trev, you are REALLY getting me worried with the avatar, dude...Scarry!!!

[Kirk Lorange]

Hi, AX. I had a listen to your track. I has a nice vibe and feel to it.

My critique:

First of all, the backing track. The bass line is fudging out the chords the guitar is strumming, so right off the bat, you're going to have trouble with any melody. The chords are Em to Am then a brief Bm on the way back to the Em. The bass however isn't really underpinning those chords in a strong bass-like manner; it's playing its own melody, limiting the melodic possibilities on top.

As you know, I really do like to hear a melody line nailing those chord tones. You must also know that I don't mean JUST stick to chord tones, but that those main melody notes, the strong ones, the ones you resolve to, should be chord tones. The parts that I found not as pleasing in your melodic excursion were those parts where you failed to nail them.

For example: Your opening line over the Em ... beautiful; then, however you resolve that line by ending on a D, but the chord at that point changes to the Am (0:17). So now you're playing a sus4 note over the Am, but the flat 3 is ringing away in the chord of the backing track, a not-so-nice clash.

This happens several times throughout. My other criticism (you asked!) is that for most of it, you seem to be relying on a fretboard pattern and muscle memory for your lines rather than a conscious quest for melody. That's going to get you in trouble all the time.

My advice:

1: Work on the backing track. Make those change very definite by simplifying the bass line. Play roots under those chords and make them change with the chords. Don't worry about melody on the bottom end, that's what your lead is going to do. Keep those bass notes sparse, simple and to the point. That Am chord, for example ... the bass plays a 5 under the first beat (an E note). Makes it hard to hear that change. Also, that brief Bm chord could do with a B note under it to make it clear that's what's happening. I did a quick midi example of what I'm talking about for you, attached below. The bass line is playing roots and 5s, the 'standard' bass line. (I'm not saying melodic bass lines are bad or anything, but it's complicating the issue in this case.)

2: Follow the changes, always know what that underlying chord is and when it's changing to the next. Build your lines by starting and ending lines with chord tones. If your line ends on the first beat of a measure with a new chord, then look to that chord's tones for the note, not the previous measure.

3: Force your hands/fingers not to simply move through known scale patterns. Don't play anything rather than do that. I can hear that you're often in the midst of trial and error, hoping for the best. You don't need that, you need to be sure, to know in advance that what you're playing is working. Chord tones are the easiest way to approach that. Work on seeing them for each chord and using them to outline your lines. Either that, or work on knowing which they are in the scale patterns you're using and making sure they match the chord(s) of the moment.

I hope I haven't been too harsh, but you did ask.