Need Melody

tender crisp · #1 November 28th, 2007

Could someone play around with these lyrics:

Seems to me you are not real
Seems to me you cannot feel
If I bleed, will you bleed back?
If I die will your heart lack?

Chorus:

Please just go
I'm not looking back
My life is more than flesh and blood
And you don't understand

I gave and gave you all my heart
I prayed for you while in the dark
Seems to me you need to see
Seems to me you need to reach

Chorus

(Bridge?)
Why did you find ways to die
Without a chance to see you cry?
Seems to me you wouldn't dare
Aren't you in this life to care?

End with chorus or first stanza

Could someone record a melody and attach?

Lcjones · #2 November 28th, 2007

What are you looking for? What's on your mind for a melody? Acoustic? Electric? Pop, Folkie, Rock, Metal, Indie, Country, Jazz, Blues ????

Lot's to choose from. You must have an inkling in your head for how it sounds? Share!

**
LC

tender crisp · #3 November 29th, 2007

acoustic in the style of "Staind"

starsailor · #4 November 29th, 2007

I'm listening to Sober by Staind is that the kind of thing you're looking for tender crisp?

STAIND /// The Official Site

starsailor · #5 November 29th, 2007

Hi tender crisp, I added a line to the chorus, no worries if you don't like it

Verse 1:

Seems to me you are not real
Seems to me you cannot feel
If I bleed, will you bleed back?
If I die will your heart lack?

Chorus:

Please just go, I'm not looking back
My life is more than flesh and blood
And you don't seem to understand
That I feel pain, like any Man

Verse 2:

I gave and gave you all my heart
I prayed for you while in the dark
Seems to me you need to see
Seems to me you need to reach

Chorus:

Please just go, I'm not looking back
My life is more than flesh and blood
And you don't seem to understand
That I feel pain, like any Man

(Bridge?)

Verse 3:

Why did you find ways to die
Without a chance to see you cry?
Seems to me you wouldn't dare
Aren't you in this life to care?

Chorus:

Please just go, I'm not looking back
My life is more than flesh and blood
And you don't seem to understand
That I feel pain, like any Man

Cheers

Chris

tender crisp · #6 November 30th, 2007

Thanks, Chris.

I'm really looking for someone to record a melody...I don't seem to have trouble writing lyrics, I just can never get a good tune going in my head.

allthumbs · #7 December 1st, 2007

First you need to find a chord progression that works for the feel of the tune your going for. The tune has a dark vibe so minor chords would be your best bet depending on the style. You might want to add power chords under that.
While melody can be intertwined within the chord progression itself, it is most commonly used to describe the notes used in singing the melody. I think you are asking for someone to write a chord progression for you rather than a melody.
Go with a 3 chord progression like Am, Dm and Em or . Work out a strumming pattern and build from there.

felixdcat · #8 December 29th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by tender crisp

Thanks, Chris.

I'm really looking for someone to record a melody...I don't seem to have trouble writing lyrics, I just can never get a good tune going in my head.

I'll give it a shot.

Fong · #9 December 30th, 2007

I don't really know the band but caught the intro of a song on Youtube.

This isn't really finished, it isn't well recorded and I am not certain about what i was playing to be completely honest.

Just sounds jingle jangle and seems to go with the chords.

1...........2..........3........4
First Chord..........Sec.....Third
Seems to me you are not real

Not really the best way to explain it, but you get the idea I hope.

Oh it don't fit perfectly, just some ideas I was throwing around in there really, but if you like the 'general' sound I will put a bit of work into it.

starsailor · #10 December 30th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by felixdcat

I'll give it a shot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fong

I don't really know the band but caught the intro of a song on Youtube.

This isn't really finished, it isn't well recorded and I am not certain about what i was playing to be completely honest.

Just sounds jingle jangle and seems to go with the chords.

1...........2..........3........4
First Chord..........Sec.....Third
Seems to me you are not real

Not really the best way to explain it, but you get the idea I hope.

Oh it don't fit perfectly, just some ideas I was throwing around in there really, but if you like the 'general' sound I will put a bit of work into it.

Hi Felixdcat and Fong, That was really good Fong, if I was you guys it might be worth sending Tendercrisp a private message, this song looks promising, nice bit of playing there Fong good to hear you

krissovo · #11 December 30th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fong

I don't really know the band but caught the intro of a song on Youtube.

This isn't really finished, it isn't well recorded and I am not certain about what i was playing to be completely honest.

Just sounds jingle jangle and seems to go with the chords.

1...........2..........3........4
First Chord..........Sec.....Third
Seems to me you are not real

Not really the best way to explain it, but you get the idea I hope.

Oh it don't fit perfectly, just some ideas I was throwing around in there really, but if you like the 'general' sound I will put a bit of work into it.

That sounds really good, you guys need to move this forward

tender crisp · #12 January 2nd, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fong

I don't really know the band but caught the intro of a song on Youtube.

This isn't really finished, it isn't well recorded and I am not certain about what i was playing to be completely honest.

Just sounds jingle jangle and seems to go with the chords.

1...........2..........3........4
First Chord..........Sec.....Third
Seems to me you are not real

Not really the best way to explain it, but you get the idea I hope.

Oh it don't fit perfectly, just some ideas I was throwing around in there really, but if you like the 'general' sound I will put a bit of work into it.

Sounds good, Fong...I like the first few "measures" that you played...i can see it fitting with the verses...I'm not sure what the chorus should sound like though...

Fong · #13 January 9th, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by tender crisp

Sounds good, Fong...I like the first few "measures" that you played...i can see it fitting with the verses...I'm not sure what the chorus should sound like though...

Yeah I couldn't find how it should go either so I had to drastically alter it.

The Chords are complex also quite meaningless within the altered tuning I used, so I will do tab and number each Chord.

Tuning is Open D.

D A D F# A D

Verse

I---II---III--IV--V----VI---VII

0---0---0---0---0----0----0/5
0---0---0---0---0/7--7----5
3---3---8---7---5----7----0
0---0---0---0---0----0----7
5---0---0---7---7----5----0
0---5---7---X---X----X----X

Chorus

I---II---III--IV

0---0---0---0
9---7---4---0
0---0---0---3
7---6---0---0
0---0---0---0
X---X---X---0

Bridge

I---II---III--IV--V---VI--VII

0---0---0---0---0---0---0/5
0---0---0---0---0---0---0
3---2---3---0---0---0---3
2---2---0---4---4---4---0
0---0---5---0---2---0---0
0---0---0---4---0---4---5

Verse 1:

I-------------II----------III
Seems to me you are not real
I-------------II----------III
Seems to me you cannot feel
IV---------V-----------V/7
If I bleed, will you bleed back?
VI---------VII-----------VII/5
and if I die will your heart lack?

Chorus:

I--------------II-----------------
Please just go, I'm not looking back
III------------IV----------------
My life--------is more than that

Verse 2:

I gave and gave you all my heart
I prayed for you while I was in the dark
Seems to me that you need me
Seems to me that you could see

Chorus:

Please just go, I'm not looking back
My life is more than that

Bridge

I-II-III-IV-V-VI-VII

Verse 3:

Why did you find ways to die
Without a chance to see you cry?
Seems to me you wouldn't dare
Aren't you here, don't you care?

Chorus:

Please just go, I'm not looking back
My life is more than that

If you were to sing it, you will notice you have to hold on notes for quite long periods at the end of verse and chorus to make the music work properly.

Let me know what you think.

tender crisp · #14 January 10th, 2008

That sounds really good...I'm going to work on singing it and I'll try to record and post within the next week...I'm not very good at singing and playing at the same time, so it might have to be an A Capella version. Thanks, Fong...I've got a bunch of good poems/lyric ideas but I'm not too advanced on the guitar yet, so I appreciate your help.

Fong · #15 January 10th, 2008

You can sing over my recording if you like. It is here for anyone to use/abuse.

The recording isn't perfect, it was one take, straight to harddrive through a mic, and the odd stretch probably needed some practice on.

I really like my Bridge section for this, as I sometimes struggle to make a Bridge section work, taking the music away from the verse/chorus without losing sight of them. Can be hard to do sometimes but I was quite happy with the way this one worked out.