Something to run with?

Paul Jeffs · #1 July 13th, 2007

Hi there.. I'm relativley new to this site, here more for the guitar lessons at the moment than anything else but still want to contribute if possible and this seems fun.. so.. with that in mind.. i'm posting these lyrics a) to see what people think.. and b) to see if anyone wants to try somthing with them.

I cant offer much at the moment in the way of help.. except rewrites of the lyrics where people think needed.. my guitar really is basic at the moment.. but hey.. i'll get there... Anyways.. i'll leave you with this.. and see what happens.

Its what you give
=============

Its not what you have,
Its what you give,
Who you are cant be bought,
Its the life that you live,
Its not what you buy,
Its what you make,
Your life isnt ruled,
By those fools on the take,
In this needy old world
In which we live,
Its not what you have,
Its what you give.

Its not what you say
Its what you do,
Words can decieve
But your deeds will ring true
Its not how you act,
Its how you feel,
Deceit is a lie,
Love and Compassion are real,
Its a needy old world,
That much is true,
Its not what you say,
Its what you do.

Its not if you love
Its if your loved,
Do you do what you can,
Or do you lord from above,
Its not if your Fake,
Its if your Real,
Its amazing the difference,
A kind hand can deal,
In this needy old world,
In which were shoved,
Its not if you Love
Its if your loved.

eddiez152 · #2 July 13th, 2007

Paul,
First Welcome to the forum, and starting to post. The lyrics are very nice. If you don't mind, i would like to work up a tune with these. I like them very much.

Gonna need a little touch up if its OK.

Paul Jeffs · #3 July 13th, 2007

Thanks Eddie.. The lyrics are somthing ive just finished that have been kicking around in my head for a few days.. i got the first verse at the beginning of the week but the rest wouldnt come.. till now..

I posted them on here in the hope that someone might find them interesting/usefull.. as it will be a while before my guitar playing will do them any justice.. so feel free.. play away... i'll be intreagued to see what you (or anyone else that fancies it) will come up with

eddiez152 · #4 July 13th, 2007

Lyric by Paul Jeffs

Some slight changes for the tune in my head.

Needy Old World

[V1]
Its not what you have,
Its in what you give,
Who you are cant be bought,
Its the life that you live,
Its not what you buy,
Its in what you make,
Your life isnt ruled,
By those fools on the take

Chorus:
In this needy old world
In which we live,
Its not what you have,
But its all in what you give.

[V2]
Its not what you say
Its all in what you do,
Words can decieve
But your deeds will ring true
Its not how you act,
Its how you feel,
Deceit is a lie,
Love and Compassion are real

Chorus:
Its a needy old world,
That much is true,
Its not what you say,
Its all in whatever you do.

[v3]
Its not if you love
But if your loved,
Do you do what you can,
With Lords help from above,
Its not if your Fake,
Its if your Real,
Its amazing the difference,
A kind hand can deal

Chrous:
In this needy old world,
In which we are shoved,
Its not if you Love
But how you are loved.

Paul, I loved your lyrics and just have to do this tune. Some a few mods to fit the tune.

Paul Jeffs · #5 July 13th, 2007

Interesting... Like the Chorus.. sort of fits better..

Its not how you act,
Its how you feel,
Deceit is a lie,
Love and Compassion are real

Is what i had originally before i change it...

the only bit i'm not sure about.. cos i think it breaks the flow.. is ..

Its not what you say
Its all in what you do,

The other 2 verses have a punchy second line where this one dosnt fith the same pattern.. but hey.. i'm easy with whatevers in your head...

Nice One.

eddiez152 · #6 July 13th, 2007

Paul,

Does the rewrite work for you ?

Paul Jeffs · #7 July 13th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by eddiez152

Paul,

Does the rewrite work for you ?

Looks like we have some lyrics then

eddiez152 · #8 July 13th, 2007

I will work on the flow. Please remember, you may have a tune in you mind that may be far different than mine.
What catagory of music did you feel when you wrote it ?
No matter what anyone else does with these lyrics, They are certainly beautiful in my mind, I think you did a wonderful job.

Paul Jeffs · #9 July 13th, 2007

Eddie,

I would rather not box the song up to a category but wait and see what people come up with if thats ok.. i really am interested to see what different takes we can get from the lyrics.. and if any fit near how i heard them when i wrote them.. and anyway.. if no one does it the way i would.. it gives me somthing to work to on my guitar...

Glad you liked them.. i'm in the mood to write at the moment and have a few more on the boil.. but thats for another day...

Hope you enjoy playing with it.

eddiez152 · #10 July 13th, 2007

I can assure you I will. Thank you Paul.

By the way, what type of music do you want to play on guitar ?

Paul Jeffs · #11 July 13th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by eddiez152

I can assure you I will. Thank you Paul.

By the way, what type of music do you want to play on guitar ?

I'm into all sorts at Really.. .. just learning the basics... currently doing the Pachelbel Canon - Melody (fingerstyle) lesson at the moment.. and just about getting to the end of the tab.. with a bit of effort but hey.. ive gotta start somewhere...

i guess at the moment i like anything fingerstyle.. but i'm not nailed to that cross...

allthumbs · #12 July 13th, 2007

I would change these two lines.

Its not if you love
Its if your loved,
to
It's not if your loved,
It's if you love.

To love without a pay off is a more evolved spiritual state.
Nice work. It could use a chorus or bridge.

eddiez152 · #13 July 13th, 2007

Well, noted allthumbs

eddiez152 · #14 July 13th, 2007

I will make this a tune that will be easy to play. When I record it
I will do it in seperate tracks so the vocals can be removed and you can do them yourself also.

Paul Jeffs · #15 July 13th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by allthumbs

I would change these two lines.

Its not if you love
Its if your loved,
to
It's not if your loved,
It's if you love.

To love without a pay off is a more evolved spiritual state.
Nice work. It could use a chorus or bridge.

Yeah.. that works.. to be honest the last part of the last verse was harder to get comfortable with.. i dont particulally like the use of 'Shoved' .. but i was getting annoyed i couldnt find a nicer fit so went with it.. can always tinker if anything comes to me.

Like the swapped lines though.. eddie.. work for you?