Hey Les,
Nice effort. I liked the guitar sound, melodic and relaxing and kept it moving along in between the pauses in the singing. I think you've got the start of something here worth refining.
The lyrics were ok, but for me, a bit too predictable. I guess the song title gets me about a breaking heart. (Remember the Achy Breaky Heart) It's a universal feeling, most of us have experienced it and if we haven't we will one day, but I wonder if there's a more subtle way to define a broken heart, instead of talking directly about a broken heart.
Maybe this is just me. But another universal truth that many authors strive to capture is the lost innocence of youth. Millions of pages have been written about it. But that's why Don Henley's song, This is the end of the Innocence has always bugged me. It taps into a great area, and he could create a song to capture the end of the innocence, but then goes right at it and flat out calls it that. I'm not sure you follow my drift, but I suppose I'm in favour of a lyric that finds something unusual and powerful to define the obvious.
Like... from Wish You Were Here.
"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears."
Powerful image... two people, stuck in a fish bowl, trapped in a rut, seeing the same things over and over again... doomed to repeat life and the same fears over and over again.
So, a simple image from our homes, a fish bowl, transformed into a powerful lyric that easily defines the angst and meaning of the tune... Well, I'm rambling.
The vocals also seem slightly strained and maybe you can find another lower key that is more in keeping with your vocal range.
Don't mean to be too critical, I always love listening to your stuff. You are a talented player, song writer and artist. But I think when you ask for a detailed critique you are asking for more than, "hey, good job Dude!"
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