Like every first draft (and I suspect this was just a stream of (sub)consciousness type of thing) it needs some work. But there's some good lines in there too. The first few lines certainly catch your atttention - would work well in rap. It breaks down a bit at "Life its self could be much worse..." Loses any focus it might have had the potential of having. The second line of the chorus "And for that I thank you" maybe could be changed to "blame you".
Second and third verses have some promising lines as well but need to be more focussed.
On the whole, I'd try to soften the cadence - it wears a bit thin. The rhyming scheme is tedious as well - I'd suggest loosening it up. Rework all the Yoda dialect - for example "To be worried, I was right." - mangling the sentance to conform to a rhyme scheme is jarring. Someone earlier said that it looked like the contents were dictated by rhymes rather than intended meaning. It would be an interesting exercise for her to rewrite the whole thing in prose - no rhymes at all - to capture what it is she really wants to say. Then when she's happy with what it's saying she could work on adding rhymes without taking away the intended meaning.
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