Hey Ballard,
that's a good start. - I like "back" instead of "around" - a little less predictable. Depends on how it fits with the music, though.
So, is this a verse or a chorus - it almost sounds like a chorus to me because it starts with "and" - makes me think something should come before it.
A really minor nit - if it's lost and no where to be found how can it be travelling down a beaten path? Not a big deal, though.
There are two main types of songs (although there are no "rules" just generalities). The first type is verse, chorus, verse, chorus (with maybe a bridge added for spice) and the second is verse, verse bridge... There's a pretty major difference in how the verses are written - with the verse, chorus type, the verses are less complete - each verse adds a bit more to the story and the hook (if present) isn't strong in the verse. The hook comes in the chorus. With the second type with no chorus, the verses tend to stand strong on their own and they have a strong hook. Most of Bob Dylan's songs are like this -"...and you break, jsut like a little girl", or "...tangled up in blue".
The second verse of a song is always a lot more difficult than the first. I'm sure there's lots of one-verse songs in writer's note books. Maybe take a step back and think about what story you're trying to tell, what feeling you're trying to evoke, what message you trying to get across - not the details just in general.
I really like what you've written - as I said, to me it sounds like a good chorus. Do you have any music for it yet?
-Doug
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