[Stephen]

At the last post I had come this far with the lyric of a new song:


Of course the love between us is the real thing

Of course you can believe it’s true

Of course it’s bigger than we can imagine

There’s something about it that’s more than it appears to be

That’s more than me and you

Of course you can believe I’m thinking of you

Probably when you’re thinking of me

Of course the we two are really one,

Of course we’ll always have find the sun,

Of course, of course of course, I love you



Additions

10 pm Sat

Of course, you can, be free from the care you once knew

Of course you can say you don’t want it but I know you do

11.20 pm Sun 11 Dec 05

Of course there’s a star in the heavens that carries your name

10.50 am Tues 20 Dec 05

Of course there’s something in me and in you that’s the same

4.50 pm Mon 26 Dec 05

Of course you’re forgiven, of course love is living

In you and in me, there’s no blame



5.00 pm Mon 26 Dec 05

Okay. In the cold light I noticed a number of problems, the main one being that there’s a bad rhyme. The last line should rhyme with the “me” of the fourth last line. I don’t want to change the last line so the fourth last must rhyme with “you.” It’s not ideal to rhyme with the same word which means these two lines have to change:

Of course you can believe I’m thinking of you

Probably when you’re thinking of me

Can we find a way to say the same thing with the correct rhyme? It addled my brains this morning.

It also occurred to me that this sentiment occurs in another song, Anytime, by H. Lawson, performed by Arlo Guthrie:

Anytime you’re thinking of me, that’s the time I’ll be thinking of you

So let’s try something else.

Of course you can believe the things I’m saying

Of course my every word is true

That’s better.

Maybe the lyric can be improved further, but at this point in the process, for me, it’s time to start grabbing some of the snatches of melody I’m hearing in my head (you can hear some too if you imagine singing the words). The next step is to catch enough melody to nail it down and then find a chord progression to fit. Notice that the bridge has quite a different rhythm from the verse, and the melody will have to be tailored to the rhythm of the words because the words came first (they usually do with me). There may be another verse in it, but I tend to keep my lyrics fairly short. You can always sing them twice, as often happens in the classic songs. I did rewrite the fourth line as I thought I may.

More updates to come as the process continues.


Here is the song as it now stands with deletions and new additions:

Of Course

Of course the love between us is the real thing

Of course you can believe it’s true

Of course it’s bigger than we can imagine

There’s something in it I can see that’s more than it appears to be

That’s more than me and you

Of course you can believe the things I’m saying

Of course my every word is true

Of course we two are really one,

Of course we’ll always find the sun,

Of course, of course, of course, I love you


(Bridge)

Of course, you can, be free from the care you once knew

Of course you can say you don’t want it but I know you do

Of course there’s a star in the heavens that carries your name

Of course there’s something in me and in you that’s the same

Of course you’re forgiven, of course love is living

In you and in me, there’s no blame