God turns lonely eyes away
now the predator becomes the prey
nothing really is as it seems
there's fear in your eyes at the end of my dreams
Strong lines but, lots of mixed messages in there. Why is God lonely. What is the connection between God turning his eyes away and predator becomes prey. Nothing what it seems. Works for predator line but, does that include God. Did he really turn away or not.
I think you need more verses to flesh out the first part to explain why this guy is in this state. Right now it could be anything form losing a girl to being a serial killer. I would make a separate complete verse around God turns his eyes away and put a new first line over the predator line, maybe explaining that idea further. Just some thoughts.
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