Allthumbs, i have read through both those threads, and understood them. im just really dreadful at this song writting caper. I agree with hilch, now that i think about it, with the excessive "he"'s. ill have a think about it while im out of town, see if i can reword a bit there.
I did think of using the first verse as a chorus, but it bugged me, and i cant place why... i think even though it doesnt have a chorus, and doesnt fit any standards, it works, well for me anyway... that being said of course, i put it here so it could be pulled apart and suggestions made.
ill have a look thru your guides again allthumbs, more objectively, relating them back to the song specifically
Make me a sandwich <<>> NO! Make it yourself
sudo make me a sandwich <<>> OK
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