Hi, lorirocks. Sorry to hear you're feeling discouraged.
Modes ... believe me when I tell you that in all my 46 years of playing, 38 of them professionally, I have never once consciously thought about modes. Modes tend to take care of themselves if you're playing the kind of music we usually listen to ... music you hear coming out of the
radio ... they're sort of built into the music. It's a bit like speaking English ... once we learn the basics, and listen to others speaking, we automatically know when to use the present, past of future tenses ... or past participles, or adverbs and adjectives. If we had to consciously think about those things all the time, we'd all be stuttering away and saying nothing.
Give your brain a break ... let the modes take care of themselves for a while longer, enjoy the sounds of those strings vibrating, get lost in chords, which, by the way, encapsulate modes in a very neat way. The last thing you need to wrorry about is modes, believe me ... I'm certainly leaving it 'til last.