well, ill be honest...
1. I think this is one of your better lyrics. but is it too good? what I mean by that is I dont get an immediate sense of what this song is about, even after reading through the entire thing. Its very descriptive, and I love that, it really helps to amplify the emotion Im feeling, but from the lyrics Im not entirely sure what that emotion should be? well not until the 3rd verse, maybe the chorus anyway
2. I think the rhyme scheme should change going from verse to chorus just to show its a different part of the song
3. the title. the hook is there throughout the song, but the title itself wasnt enticing enough to draw me into this thread. Ill be honest and say that the only reason I came in here was because I saw it was by lcjones :S
anyway, it was hard trying to find something wrong with it because on the whole its very descriptive and actually quite good, I guess im just being picky
when are we going to hear music for this
