ok first off i think she would love it if it only said "i love you" just because it is something from the heart, secondly i would be stuck btween agreeing with this
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And just me personally, I like the phrase "silky face" better than "charming cheeks". I don't know, silky face sounds llike a nicer compliment. Maybe just take the "soft" out of "soft silky face" to help with the singing.
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and with this
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The "soft silky" no doubt says exactly what you want it to say but it's the "eff" sound immediately followed by the "ess" sound that makes this a hard line to sing.
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as Marai said the "soft silky face" seems to be a better compliment it shows that you are seeing her whole face. The "charming cheeks" strikes me as something you would say about a newborn with a ....plump face (sorry not real good at terming things please don't take offense)
But, as LC sait the "ft" and "ce" sounds would be a bit of a tounge twister maybe "silky sweet face" or "sweet silky face" which ever sounds better.
I don't mean to preach. It's just that occaisionally i catch my self writing poetry and reading tons of it and these are just some things that i would have done differently. Keep in mind that this is YOUR song and no matter if you change it or not she will love it any way.
i wrote my wife a poem while i was in Basic Training the went something like this (keep in mind it was 2AM when i wrote this. this is mainly to prove it isn't how you say it in songs and poetry it is what you say when you say it) :
Most men give flowers to show their love to the lady in their life.
I have always questioned why. When you think about it there are 2 kinds of flowers.
There are the fresh flowers that mean say symoblize their love. These flowers whither and die soon enough.... Love should not. There are also silk flowers that men will give and say they will symbolize the way they will view the lady, vibrant and beautiful forever. I will not give these to you. These are fake and my love is true. What can i give you to symbolize how I feel for you? I can give you my heart, soul and spirit in every way i know. I give to you freely every thing i have in my being. Just keep in mind i love you so.
and she was VERY VERY loving after she read it
ok hope i helped a bit