"The Psychiatric Hotline"
Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line until we trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you
which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No
one will answer.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side
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