Hey coldethyl,
First, it's not rubbish. Obviously some thought went into this lyric.
Here's my take on it.
Verse 1 introduces us to a "stranger". Interesting way you turned the words.
V1 is a nice, really simple verse conveying a clear and concise idea.
Verse 2 gets lost. It seems to imply this stranger is now a friend but there is nothing to make that "stranger to friend" connection. Nothing supports how this stranger got to be so close, and with a "wall" in between them, it got confusing. The last line in V2 indicates the stanger and the singer had some sort of "love", but again, nothing supports the love. Was it a love of the heart? Lust? Faith?
Based on the first verse, the line in the chorus "tickle my ears" is just out of place and not within the demeanor of the song. As well, the last line in the chorus, "like we've done for all these years" is in opposition to V1. It connotates there has been a very long relation between the "stranger" and the singer of the song.
By the time I get to V3, I'm feeling [for lack of a better word] a religious overtone. Reference to the "thorn" and the psuedo "walk a mile in my shoes" line put things in that context for me. I may be wrong.
V4 is similar to V2 in abstractness.
And I think thats a key point here. Abstract thought. Obviously these lines mean something to you and that is fine. What happens is though, no one can read your "abstract" thought in to their own thought.... lyrically speaking. There must be action words included to help the listener get over the abstract thoughts so that the can really relate to the lyric.
For example, "a wall stands between us, and there it stays". Where would the wall go? And who put the wall there to begin with? And why would love fade because of this wall? Is it a physical barrier like a brick wall or a psychological wall?
In V4, the verse, and the entire lyric, takes a weird turn by the last line, " we just can't go on with this lie". There was no hint at all in any other part of the lyric about lies or lying.
Having said all that, I like what you have started. I think using words that clarify and solidify your ideas would help. Use action words in conjunction with abstract thoughts.
I hope I haven't muddied the waters here....
Les