This is not what I expected! I think it's wonderful, the lyrics are great, really great; 'she's only half-grown, but she has her own phone', and the lines leading up to the bedroom mirror...simply brilliant. The last line is fine, it's ambiguous, not corny, keep it.
I like Laurie Anderson, and I hope you don't mind me mentioning her in comparison.
I'm a beginner at multitrack recording too, and I can only say that you've produced a great piece of music, that only needs a little polishing to finish it off satisfactorily.
Absolutely fantastic. No Smilies, too impressed.
Ian
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