Nice story Chris, I like it!
Don't like "hole" in the 3rd verse, doesn't sound right....how do you wipe a hole? maybe ....
he goes to the window, wipes the haze...
Other place I'm not fond of is "Jennifer" someone who's not familiar with naming guitars would wonder about that line I think.....
never named mine before.....guitar that is
I think it could work out very nice with the right arrangement