Hey johnnyD
Good story line and with todays mid-life attraction to putting the band back together, very topical.
I think to really make this lyric rock on down the pike is to completely rewrite the chorus.
1) The chorus follows the the exact same meter as the verses. it should be different enough that listeners will understand that the song has changed and its changed into the chorus. And that helps keep the song from getting boring.
2) The hook, even though presented twice in the chorus, is getting lost because of all the action in the 2nd and 3rd lines.
I think the chorus should be shortened to perhaps something like this: (and this is just an example)
the songs we used to play
we played them hard and loud
rocked the nights away
with all the songs we played
**
LC
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Respect The Music
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