[knight46]

As always all comments are welcome...



Legends


A gentle wind caressed the bow
And pushed my little boat to shore,
Where forest citizens stood proud
Silently protecting Natures door,
Around the hull the tapping waves
Said “Come with us, let’s play some more”,
But I sat and watched the setting sun
As the stillness became a deafening roar.

Then the bellow of an old Bullfrog
Would break the silence now and then,
As crickets serenaded the night
Singing to a long lost friend,
And awed by Natures grand design
Afraid to break this fragile spell
I sit alone yet surrounded
In this place where Legends Dwell
This place where Legends Dwell

[Aunt Doty]

Good thoughts Knight46. I totally get the stillness becoming a roar!
I think you need a chorus and use your "hook" (as LC says )in it too!

[knight46]

Thanks for taking the time to read and the comments:

Johnny and Chris - I agree that it needs some work and some explaination. Maybe the chorus would be the best place for that to happen.

Aunt Doty - Thanks, that to me is the hardest part "the hook", as I said to Johnny and Chris, maybe I can put in a chorus and include it there.