[X4StringDrive]

The poem before the song...

Staring at the flickering screen
my eyes begin to numb
I go and grab some more caffeine
what have I now done
an office chair at home so plush
tucked in a corner space
just sitting here when came a rush
brought a smile right to my face
its 1 AM this days been long
its time I go to bed
I'll close this out with a new song
that just popped in my head


Our University song
By X4 Kenny

Vs1
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hybrid playing too
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all stuff you never knew

Vs2
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featured members radio
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even on home studios

Chorus
G F B&B
the only place you need to be
you'll be the best with your degree
from Lorange & Mullins University

Vs3
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great troubleshooting threads
get feedback on your playing
and showcase your best shreds

Vs4
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a music lounge to rest
Teachers, Idols, Specialist
this forum is the best

Chorus
G F B&B
the only place you need to be
you'll be the best with your degree
from Lorange & Mullins University

[carol m]

Nicely done Chris!
And hip hip hooray
The mother in law lives
To fight another day.
I rather enjoyed
Your image of chains
I pictured a nose ring
And her struggles in vain
But we know you're not heartless
You gave her a view
Of you rose-garden in flower
As goode son in laws do.

[starsailor]

Yeah the image of chains
Was a picture that amused
But I had to let go
And get on with my life
Can't be cruel to Dragons
They're an endangered species
And the Wife lost the humour
Still want her to speak to me
So I let it go
For the love of her Daughter
No more is she chained
Or fed bread and water
No rose tinted Vista
To brighten her day
The fire breathing Dragon
Has now flown away
I cannot be heartless
I could not be cruel
To be honest I'm too nice
I blame my Gene Pool
It's ok being nice
But it's not always cool

[carol m]

Gene Pool was a bloke
With various skills
He was rather too shallow
But knew how to kill -
Never learned to swim
In his Pool or the sea
Which is why he's not trim
Unlike you and/or me.

He also had trouble
When out buying trousers
If he bought them too tignt
He got bad looks from wowsers
But then he discovered
That blue Genes are cool -
You can wear them forever
And not look like a Tool
What a clever old thing
Is our shallow Gene Pool
But now he's obsessed
With the wearing of bling.

Hi there Aunt Doty
I see you dropped by
Can you really believe it
How this thread seems to fly?
I hope you are well
It's a 'long time no see'
But I send you good wishes
From my buddies and me.
Have you been on your travels
And been playing guitar?
I'm sure with your talents
You have been near and far.

[starsailor]

All the best to Aunt Doty
Wherever you may be
Hope you are well
And feeling happy
The thread still continues
We stretch every sinew
To come up with words
That may not have occured
But it is getting harder
Might as well use larder
I'd rather not
But it rhymes with harder
Prefer that I didn't
As it reminds me of food
And that's not very good
As I've eaten already
So I must take it steady
As my Wife just fed me
Well not in the true sense
It was on a plate
And I ate myself
She just did the cooking
While I was looking online
Then gave me a shout
Said that it's dinner time
The words they are drifting
From my mind to the page
I can't seem to stop
Could be here for an age
No I've got things to do
So Carol and Doty
I bid you Adieu
I know you're not here Doty
But we remember you
So please come back soon
Stop in to report
Well best I should go
Yes I think I ought

Ps. Gene pool rhyme was excellent Carol

[carol m]

Hmm, harder and larder
That's quite a conundrum
The constant dilemma
Between feeding the tum
And going to work -
Yes, I know we do both
But one is a pleasure
And one makes us loath
To leave all our toys
To earn a small crust
And a chat with the boys......

Well that's kind of neat
I've returned to my crust lust
As I binge and I eat
My way, as I must
Till I can't see my feet...
I don't know where I'm going
And my rhymes are messed up
And I'm not even hungry
So I'd best feed the Pup
And stop all this duelling
With words and ideas
And thoughts of re-fuelling...

I can't think of an ending
So I'll grab my guitar
And practice some bending
And bid you 'Ta Ra' (for now)

[carol m]

The forum's been quiet,
I've been trying my hand
Struggling to record
On my new GarageBand
I'd forgotten how time
Is all eaten away
With copy and paste
You can spend a whole day
When your playing requires
So much stop and delete
Too much 'try one more time'
And it still isn't sweet
I know that with practice
I'll improve out of sight
But right now I'm hoping
'It will', not 'It might'.

My timing seems fine
While I'm strumming along
Then on playback it sounds
Out of time and all wrong
And the fumbles you think
Will not matter at all
When recorded sound rubbish
.....but I still had a ball!

[starsailor]

Time has moved on
Well time always will
I've strolled the forum
While feeling quite ill
For days I have rested
A cold in my head
Then it was suggested
I revisit this thread
So without hesitation
And without much a do
I mosied on over
And had a peruse

Found it barely alive
Stalled at fifty five
But if a patients still breathing
There's a chance they'll survive
So I've chosen some words
That I heard in my head
Some small recitation
To aid resuscitation
A creation profound
About music and sound

G'day to Carol
A girl from down under
A country I'm told
Where Women Blow
And men chunder
Don't know if that's true
But I do often wonder
Well I'm starting to blunder
Stroll from the text
So it's on to recording
Which makes me quite vexed
With it's hisses and clicks
Levels low and high
A pastime with pleasure
But pain and despair
Which goes into the night
Causes some loss of hair
As you patiently sit
With a guitar in hand
And try to belt out
The song that you've planned
Using Garageband
Or some other program
You strum and you jam
You add drums and some bass
Then you play it all back
With some trepidation
Spend hours correcting
The audio situation
Then you do the last mix
When you've fixed all you can
And you post to the forum
Cos that was your plan
And the Members check in
Talk about what they've heard
And their thoughtful replies
They encourage, inspire you
As they're only aim
Is to make your dream come true
Were all in the same boat
Need support from our crew
And they always come through
And help you move on
To bigger and better
Compositions and songs

When you hear what you've done
And read the response
You then realise
Why you're always ensconced
In a room making music
Battling to record
It's a war of attrition
With the greatest reward
A piece you've created
Your very own song
There may be greater rewards
But I can't think of one.

[carol m]

Hello there young Christopher
Ensconced (nice one) in you room
I think I can see you
If I use lots of zoom
Through the murk and the mist-of-a
Rain drenched old blighty
I send you good wishes
Hope that soon you'll be sprightly
Restored to goode health....

Just remembered a ditty
That's cheerful and witty:
'It wasn't the cough that carried him off,
It was the coffin they carried him off in'

I'm so out of practice
Writing lines on the fly
It's been a long time
And no-one knows why
What a clever idea
You had to revive
This thread on the off-chance
Someone else might drop by

As far as I know, in this land called down under
Women glow and men chunder
Though that's not strictly true
Women can chunder with plenty of zest
And sweat like a bloke which as anyone knows
Is not how us ladies comport ourselves best
And, one must always check first,
Which way the wind blows.

I've written a song
Yes, someone dies as per usual
Not too short, not too long
So I'm off to the Forum
To share with our members
Hope the song will not bore'em.

[starsailor]

Hello young Carol
I'm a gent
Thought I'd return
The compliment
It's very cold here
But the rains given way
To a more condusive
And sometimes illusive
Sun shiny day

I'm feeling a bit better
Have felt quite fettered
By the ailment
That nailed me
And kind of derailed me
But though it assailed me
My resources didn't fail me
I've rallied to the cause
Though my voice is quite hoarse
And dug deep to finish
The household chores
And when they were done
I sat on my bum
I picked up my guitar
As it is such fun
And there are piles of songs
That need to be sung

I remember that ditty
It is very witty
But I don't want that fate
My maker can wait
It's not my time to die
I'm sure he'll understand
Seems a reasonable guy

I won't get involved
In a rhyme about nausea
I'll pause here for a minute
For some time to reflect
Then carry on writing
When my brain reconnects

The dragon once said
Oh that Woman of fire
When asked this question
Which was put quite direct
Oh Mother in law
Is it true Women Sweat
Shouldn't have asked it
The situation looked dire
Ladies don't sweat boy !
They merely perspire !
Well I said ok
Through the smoke and the flames
If that's what you're doing
And please don't burn me in hell
Your perspiring is causing
A really bad smell
So partake of deoderant
You ogreish wench
Please save us all
From your odious stench
I then ran quite fast
As the flames licked my arse
She did look very angry
But I hoped it would pass

Well my words sort of drifted
I'm gifted that way
Pray tell of your song
Is it heading this way
Ashame there's a demise
My lyrics do the same
Quite enjoy songs
Where I can kill and maim
Take out my rage
On a screen or a page
Don't think that is wrong
Makes an edgier song
Look forward to yours
Sure it won't be boring
I'll read the whole thing
Won't partake in snoring

Well the Wife's made me toast
So that's the end of this post
I'll write another one but
Ta da !
There I've gone

[carol m]

Well I must say young Chris
You were certainly bold
To tell the old Dragon
How she smelt rather old
I hope she's not one
To visit this thread
You could lose a limb
Or turn up quite dead
But I do like a story
With malice and spite
But to take on a mother-in-law
In such a dangerous fight
Shows courage and daring
Way beyond common sense
I once had a friend with similar ways
I never once told him about his offense
But that is the thing that sti(n)cks in my mind
His girlfriend appeared to not notice at all
But wore lots of perfume, perhaps to disguise
What to everyone else was enough to appall
Or maybe her senses were somewhat deficient
I don't think that her tactics were very efficient.

Have you noticed the shape
Of the lines I just penned?
It happened by chance
In my bid to offend.
Now I can see
I've done
Just the reverse
I've noticed how lately
You've been using posh words
And eloquent phrasing in your recent traverse
Of the English language, with your most elegant prose -
I must turn around here or I'll spoil the effect
And shrink back to nothing while
Wiggling my toes
Bye!

[starsailor]

My reference to Grandma
No Mother in law
Grandma's long gone
We miss her it's true
But she died long ago
Before World War two
Oh Mother in law
I appeared to stray
She knows I'm messing
She does it too
Her tongue is quite lashing
Much worse, promise you
We used to be friends
But now just aquaint
If she told me I was wonderful
I'd surely faint
But she ain't that smelly
I kind of enhanced
She is quite fragant
Makes the nose dance
I cannot defend
My offensive verse
If she played the guitar
Things could get worse
But she doesn't by chance
So there won't be much strife
To be safe though I'd best not
Upset the Wife
As she may conive
She may stick in the Knife
And spill the beans
To her dear old Mum
Imagine the scene
As I run for my life
Mother in pursuit
Closely followed by Wife
As my bolt is shot
As I run out of steam
They'll surely abuse me
Revel in my screams
And leave me for dead

And on my headstone
Words of repent

He died for some comments
About Mother in Laws Scent
She thought them the truth
But in jest they were meant

I often sit here
Think of eloquent prose
But sometimes I don't
I just pick my nose
And stare at the page
Devoid of a script
No rapier wit
To write down on paper
No humorous stories
Or interesting Capers
Almost interned
In some sort of dream
Til. inspiration returns
And my pen yearns to write

It's a bit of a fight
To think of new words
Some are quite long
Some just absurd
Sometimes they don't come
So I head for a dictionary
The finest of books
Which was given to me
A long time ago
At secondary school
When I saw all those words
I started to drool
Like to use words
That aren't too offensive
Don't like to offend
In someways I'm pensive
My vocabulary though
Has become quite extensive
Mildly offensive but more euphemism
I found a nice word
I think it's spelt Schism
May write a song
As that rhymes with prism
And also euphemism
But I would need some more
Maybe disestablishmentarianism
Don't know what that means
But it sounds quite anarchic
I'd use it for a lark
Quick as a flash
But any use may be rash
As it is elongated
Better use a word
Which is more understated
Less lettered and long
For if used in a song
It may cause frustration
A tongue twisting moment
Not the best situation


Well I'd best be gone
Hope my rhyme
About pongs
Hasn't made me look bad
Love Mother in Law really
But she does drive me mad
But it would make me sad
If I'd caused much offence
I'd spend every day
Doing a pennance
I'd best go
That's the end of this sentence

Stay well my friend
From the land of the Roo
I Have fun reading
The rhymes that you do

Bon nuit, arrivaderce
I bid you Adieu

[carol m]

Nicely done, fellow twanger
I like how you swerved
And avoided a clanger
Which was not well deserved
But tell me O wordsmith
How do you know
How your Grandmother smelled
When you could not have known her
Having died well before
You'd arrived at her door
'Ere you'd even been thought of
And become such a chore (it's for the rhyme and better than 'bore'!)
You never were there
If I've worked it out proper
Was it all complete fiction
Just a scandalous whopper?

Change of subject:

That song we discussed
Could fit rather well
To scotty_b's track in G,
Acoustic blues, but don't dwell
On my 'helpful' ideas
Cos what do I know?
It's dinner time now
So I'd better just go.

[starsailor]

Chore is a good way to describe me
Ask the Wife, I'm sure she'll agree
Her mummy's ok, she smells fine
Another product of an imaginitive mind
You're right indeed don't know about Granny
She'd gone long before Mum
Thought of Family planning
I'm sure she though smelt of a Summer rose
A bouquet of beauty from her head to her toes
Haven't seen any picture's the Albums long closed
Can't recall any photos or slides
Maybe Mum hides them away from our eyes
But she says Gran was beautiful
I can't disagree,
She at least must have been
As beautiful as me
That's what I like to think
But that's just vanity
Or maybe insanity
Now to avoid a calamity
And any profanity
I'll end this verse
As I'm over a barrel
And for tea I yearn
Auf Wiedersehen Carol
Danke Schoen (or Schon)
I'm off again (I've gone)

Cheers

Chris

[carol m]

I read with some dread
When you used the word 'barrel'
Cos I knew what was coming
You would rhyme it with Carol
Not to worry my friend
It made me feel I have powers
To forecast the future
'Tomorrow there'll be showers'
How did I go? its a pretty safe bet
That over in Blighty
The rain's falling yet.

In Aus the real summer
Has finally begun
It's taken awhile
For reliable sun
To shine down in splendour
With its shimmering light
An excuse for a bender,
So our new neighbours thought -
As I fume and I cuss
A party next door! And they didn't ask us!


So I try to exclude the thump of the beat
And the wail of some singer too bad to discuss
Can be heard down the street
I thought 'What are they thinking?'
Took a peak over the fence
(As you do) They were sitting there drinking
In the garden with two friends
It just stopped, oh what bliss...

Not even a party! just a (very) loud drink with friends
It's not looking good, if their ways they don't mend.


Its their first day in the place
They are renters and so
We know not their face (es)
Or whether the noise will continue each day
And drive me insane if I cannot escape
I can't listen to music in my usual way
Or play my guitar or even think straight
It just started again, and even my rhymes
Have all gone to the wall
I'll have to stop now and go for a walk
In the other direction to seek peace of mind
I hope in the morning that no-one will find
I just couldn't stick it and ended it all.
AAAaaaaahh!
It might be a close call.

[carol m]

I've been pondering long
As I walk up and down
Is it better to strangle
Or simply just drown?
They both would require
A certain commitment
To dangerous deeds
And skills used infrequent
Each one could be felled
With a well aimed good blow
But I'd need an acomplice
For a really good show
I suppose that a swing
With guts and some strength
Could deal with a couple
Then I'd ponder at length
The way to proceed
To deal with the rest -
Hmm, perhaps a good backswing?
But my golf's not the best
I know, I could gate-crash
And slip them a mickey
But then, not getting caught
Might prove to be tricky
If only the racket would stop for a bit
I could play my guitar and record my next hit.