Thread: Song for girl
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Old October 19th, 2007
Doug Doug is online now
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Playing guitar for what seems like forever.
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
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Location: Canada
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I really like the rhythm of the words and the feel of the song. Maybe I'm old school, but I would rework the rhyming so that it is cleaner - they don't have to be perfect rhymes but it shouldn;t leave you out hanging either. Wild and night are too far apart for me. And I couldn't find any rhyming scheme in your chorus.
But, don't get me wrong, I really think there's potential in the words - got a great feel to it. Your use of repetition works well.

As for the chords, I like Marty's suggestion of the Cmaj7 and Fmaj7 but I don't know about the A and E major chords - they're out of key I think. Perhaps Am and Em would fit better. and make Trevor happy too .


"we don't see things as they are, we see things as we are" - Anais Nin
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