[Lcjones]

Yonkle,

Just a question. Is this a lyric? Or a short story? What are your intentions with this prose?

The two, the lyric and short story, though cousins, are really not related. I read this as a short story. It is not a lyric. There is no meter. There is no rhyme factor. Both which create a lyric. Your prose may do fine in a poetry booklet but will not stand the test of a lyric.

If you wish this to be a lyric, then we must take the core values and create a rythmic and rhyming lyric.

If you wish to go further, let me know. In the meantime, suffice it to say, you have written a nice story, however, not a lyric.

Les