[agent0064life]

Need help finishing this song and I ran out of ideas so now I'm putting this in the collab forum to make something out of this... well anyways here's the original post:

Been in sort of a numb mood for the past few months and I think this sort of reflects that... Song lyrics aren't quite finished yet but I have the chorus/ending done. Just to let you know how it sounds in my head I hear sort of a 30 seconds to mars-attack sort of tune. Of course that will change about 10 times because I'll go read the lyrics tomorrow and forget how they sounded in my head but anyways here it is. I haven't really identified the chorus from the end but this is the end of the song... and the chorus is in there somewhere.

The Purpose
The meaning
Life's so deceiving
Chasing the prize
What they made you believe
but the prize is the chase
The chase to the end
Time doesn't wait
While we waste away-
Chasing the prize
but the prize is the chase-
The purpose
The meaning
Life's so deceiving
It is


I'm kind of stuck in a rut as to verses and such but I'm sure it'll come along as it always does... I'll update you when I come up with more stuff...constructive criticism and opinons/help appreciated.

Thanks

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And now I've added, after when todays the day:

Go out standing
so get off your knees
Programmed to love
to love and to hate
Is that our destiny
our true fate


also I've added, after

the chase to the end
time doesn't wait
while we waste away and

this:

Wait for the chase to end
but it never does
so you don't give up
Kept, proddin - pokin away
Kept tryin
With your useless attemps
But you never forget
when it ends this way----

(go into chorus whatever the heck it may turn out to be)

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

Ahh I've dabbled with some of that stuff before... the rolls are impossible to get at least when I try... I know little about drums but Other than getting a basic beat out of those things I can't accomplish much... I'll have to leave the drums to someone else... that can be approached after vocals are put in so whoever does it has a better idea on where to put the fills etc.

Point taken Agent we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, we could do with some more members on board, any ideas.

[agent0064life]

Originally Posted by knight46

Agent,
Very nice metal feel, I tried to follow lyrics but wasn't sure of your intent. Now that you have the mp3 thing figured out, give us a clip of music and vox.

The Lyrics start after the first three riffs. The first four lines of the music go with the first four patterns of the second riff... that's all I am sure of right now as it fits nicely... trying to think how the other stuff could fit in there but I really only have a small sample as that is the basis of the song and not really how the whole thing will obviously be. Like I said I'm going to be as methodical as possible with this song because I finally have sort of an idea after writing two semi crappy songs how the structure goes and I know what mistakes I made before.... and the main one was rushing the process.

[agent0064life]

I wasn't able to lay down the vocal tracks yet but I did some more of the song.

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

I wasn't able to lay down the vocal tracks yet but I did some more of the song.

That's good Agent, you could have a bass added and a good drum track, the vocals will have to be quite strong though to carry the song off, I was kind of hoping Hermanli or PepticDust would look at this as they're into metal, are there any more guys on here into Metal? doing really well agent

[knight46]

That was a nice go Agent...+1 to Starsailor on the bass and drum track.

[agent0064life]

yeah I think I may record it again with different pickup/tone settings on my guitar... wasn't the same tone I had before I'm noticing. Also could have done better in a few parts... think maybe it wasn't in tune so I'll get some new strings on (had these on for five months so it should make a difference)

[agent0064life]

Changed the intro and a few unnoticable things...

my converter program isn't working right and I can only get the first 1 minute or so... but the big thing that changed is the intro so I'll worry about the rest later.

[starsailor]

Good Agent, do you want to post this on members recordings and see if you can get some more members involved it would be worth your while,
You've done well.

[agent0064life]

After I can get the WAV file to convert in full length...