[agent0064life]

Need help finishing this song and I ran out of ideas so now I'm putting this in the collab forum to make something out of this... well anyways here's the original post:

Been in sort of a numb mood for the past few months and I think this sort of reflects that... Song lyrics aren't quite finished yet but I have the chorus/ending done. Just to let you know how it sounds in my head I hear sort of a 30 seconds to mars-attack sort of tune. Of course that will change about 10 times because I'll go read the lyrics tomorrow and forget how they sounded in my head but anyways here it is. I haven't really identified the chorus from the end but this is the end of the song... and the chorus is in there somewhere.

The Purpose
The meaning
Life's so deceiving
Chasing the prize
What they made you believe
but the prize is the chase
The chase to the end
Time doesn't wait
While we waste away-
Chasing the prize
but the prize is the chase-
The purpose
The meaning
Life's so deceiving
It is


I'm kind of stuck in a rut as to verses and such but I'm sure it'll come along as it always does... I'll update you when I come up with more stuff...constructive criticism and opinons/help appreciated.

Thanks

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And now I've added, after when todays the day:

Go out standing
so get off your knees
Programmed to love
to love and to hate
Is that our destiny
our true fate


also I've added, after

the chase to the end
time doesn't wait
while we waste away and

this:

Wait for the chase to end
but it never does
so you don't give up
Kept, proddin - pokin away
Kept tryin
With your useless attemps
But you never forget
when it ends this way----

(go into chorus whatever the heck it may turn out to be)

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

What I ended up doing was switching the third and fourth lines. I like the A, A, A, B rhyme pattern for the intro.

Nice one Agent006 that works really well feels a lot more comfortable, the lyrics are good for this song, thought I'd better mention the chasing the prize line, want to give you input, have you got any chord ideas in mind, do you play mainly electric, I only play acoustic at the moment use mostly the steel string but I do have an electro - Acoustic and a classical guitar also, I put a tune together for this but it might be a bit too mainstream for you, if you give me some idea of what kind of mood you want to set, I could work along those lines or if you've got some chords in mind I can have a go at them, over to you again

Cheers

Chris

[agent0064life]

I have a pattern that follows the vocals pretty well. It's on electric. The chords are the e and b strings for the D chord, the e and b for Dsus, and the e and b for F# Barred. I forgot exactly how it went, but I'm sure when I hold that guitar in my hands the chain of thoughts will kick in and I can get to recording... just gotta find a 1/8th double male cord for my pod to hook up to the 'puter.

Using the top strings as the main chords is what I like in this style of music. Keeps the song away from the bassy feel. The only big problem I have is in all of my songs I hear a lot of drum fills which I cannot replicate in a program or perform on the drums...

EDIT: Well you know what that means... time to try and convince my parents for the second time to let me get DRUMS!!!

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

I have a pattern that follows the vocals pretty well. It's on electric. The chords are the e and b strings for the D chord, the e and b for Dsus, and the e and b for F# Barred. I forgot exactly how it went, but I'm sure when I hold that guitar in my hands the chain of thoughts will kick in and I can get to recording... just gotta find a 1/8th double male cord for my pod to hook up to the 'puter.

Using the top strings as the main chords is what I like in this style of music. Keeps the song away from the bassy feel. The only big problem I have is in all of my songs I hear a lot of drum fills which I cannot replicate in a program or perform on the drums...

That's cool Agent, when you're ready post a sample it would be good to hear, there was a good drum thread on here a couple of months back, so there might be the kind of effect you want available, I'll have a look, they're lighter chords than I was expecting but good, It will be interesting to hear what you come up with, looking forward to it, definitely going in the right direction Agent there's no rush so take your time, I'm always around, hope your enjoying this so far Agent.

[agent0064life]

Well if there's one thing you should expect from my songs it's that the rhythm matches the vocals perfectly. Sometimes there's too many parts of the song mixing in my brain at one time and that causes for overload, but when I get my true moments of clarity then I work as fast as I can because that window closes very fast.

Oh and I'm enjoying this much. First song I've written that that hasn't been inspired by one person... just plain old me writing... so that means I should be able to write more consistently....

Also after reading the song that was laid out in verses and choruses a lot I'm starting to really take a liking to it.

And with the chords... I might go a little heavier on the chorus and go full out on the barres to make it stick out. This could be another month or so before this is done but I want every last thing to be right... to often I settle for okay... well not this time I think I really have something here and not just a rock covered in gold dirt.

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

Well if there's one thing you should expect from my songs it's that the rhythm matches the vocals perfectly. Sometimes there's too many parts of the song mixing in my brain at one time and that causes for overload, but when I get my true moments of clarity then I work as fast as I can because that window closes very fast.

Oh and I'm enjoying this much. First song I've written that that hasn't been inspired by one person... just plain old me writing... so that means I should be able to write more consistently....

Also after reading the song that was laid out in verses and choruses a lot I'm starting to really take a liking to it.

And with the chords... I might go a little heavier on the chorus and go full out on the barres to make it stick out. This could be another month or so before this is done but I want every last thing to be right... to often I settle for okay... well not this time I think I really have something here and not just a rock covered in gold dirt.

Good to hear you're enjoying this Collaboration Agent, I'll get the links for drum effects and hopefully we can get the sound you want.

[agent0064life]

After noodling around (didn't use the D Dsus F#... just didn't sound right like it did before. Now I've used a D# barre for my base. I knew I wanted to base my song around that sort of D sharp/sus area but I think I may have found it.... here's me noodling out the main riff (first few takes are messups but I like the first messup a little)

[agent0064life]

ugh couldn't upload the file... here it is

Click here to watch prize-guitar

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

ugh couldn't upload the file... here it is

Click here to watch prize-guitar

Please accept my apologies Agent006, I followed the link but when I pressed it asked me to press for ActiveX for Windows media and my Computer crashed, I've sorted it out but could you post an MP3 direct on site, I don't want to go through that again, it was my end but took me a while to sort out, want to hear it

[agent0064life]

Finally found a way to get it to .mp3 format... had to download a file converter and everything.... the harmonics are not intended those are fudge ups but let me know what you think... didn't put lyrics over it

[knight46]

Agent,
Very nice metal feel, I tried to follow lyrics but wasn't sure of your intent. Now that you have the mp3 thing figured out, give us a clip of music and vox.

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

Finally found a way to get it to .mp3 format... had to download a file converter and everything.... the harmonics are not intended those are fudge ups but let me know what you think... didn't put lyrics over it

That was seriously good Agent, that's a great sound, I'll post the links for drums samples if you haven't got what you want yet, it might be good to get one of the Metal guys to help on this, have you posted this on members recordings, I know it's a sample but if you say it's for this song you'll probably get some more members on board, you've done a great job and this is really coming together.
Thanks for going to the trouble to do the MP3, my computer detected that ActiveX was causing my technical problem and very sorry for the hassle, please put this on Members recording, it is up to you but this will be a good song, well done Agent.

Cheers

Chris

[agent0064life]

Wow was not expecting that kind of positive feedback... decent I guess for not having played a full year yet. When I get a chance to do vocals - nobody being home... can't sing in front of people and my I don't like to let anyone that I know, know I'm doing this. Too many negative influences in my life would probably get me down

[starsailor]

Originally Posted by agent0064life

Wow was not expecting that kind of positive feedback... decent I guess for not having played a full year yet. When I get a chance to do vocals - nobody being home... can't sing in front of people and my I don't like to let anyone that I know, know I'm doing this. Too many negative influences in my life would probably get me down

I wasn't expecting that good a sample Agent as it was the first go, my 14 year old Daughter thought it was really good, she's into Metal etc. and she's a musician so she wouldn't say it was good if it wasn't.
As for people with Negative thoughts, I haven't got any time for people that discourage others, so if you can, let those go over your head and believe in what you do, I think you're doing a great job

[starsailor]

Here's a link to a Drums question put on by Hilch, there are a lot of suggestions and links to Drum effects downloads, I'm pretty certain you will find one, good luck.

Drums

[agent0064life]

Ahh I've dabbled with some of that stuff before... the rolls are impossible to get at least when I try... I know little about drums but Other than getting a basic beat out of those things I can't accomplish much... I'll have to leave the drums to someone else... that can be approached after vocals are put in so whoever does it has a better idea on where to put the fills etc.