Something to run with? - Page 2

Paul Jeffs · July 13th, 2007

Hi there.. I'm relativley new to this site, here more for the guitar lessons at the moment than anything else but still want to contribute if possible and this seems fun.. so.. with that in mind.. i'm posting these lyrics a) to see what people think.. and b) to see if anyone wants to try somthing with them.

I cant offer much at the moment in the way of help.. except rewrites of the lyrics where people think needed.. my guitar really is basic at the moment.. but hey.. i'll get there... Anyways.. i'll leave you with this.. and see what happens.

Its what you give
=============

Its not what you have,
Its what you give,
Who you are cant be bought,
Its the life that you live,
Its not what you buy,
Its what you make,
Your life isnt ruled,
By those fools on the take,
In this needy old world
In which we live,
Its not what you have,
Its what you give.

Its not what you say
Its what you do,
Words can decieve
But your deeds will ring true
Its not how you act,
Its how you feel,
Deceit is a lie,
Love and Compassion are real,
Its a needy old world,
That much is true,
Its not what you say,
Its what you do.

Its not if you love
Its if your loved,
Do you do what you can,
Or do you lord from above,
Its not if your Fake,
Its if your Real,
Its amazing the difference,
A kind hand can deal,
In this needy old world,
In which were shoved,
Its not if you Love
Its if your loved.

Paul Jeffs · #16 July 13th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by eddiez152

I will make this a tune that will be easy to play. When I record it
I will do it in seperate tracks so the vocals can be removed and you can do them yourself also.

Thanks eddie.. i appreciate that... but dont let that stop you from going where you want to go with it.. I'm just happy someone picked it up.

eddiez152 · #17 July 13th, 2007

changed verse:

[v3]
Its not if you loved
But if you love,
Do you do what you can,
With Lords help from above,
Its not if your Fake,
Its if your Real,
Its amazing the difference,
A kind hand can deal

Paul Jeffs · #18 July 13th, 2007

cool..

So all together.. Good to go.

Needy Old World

[V1]
Its not what you have,
Its in what you give,
Who you are cant be bought,
Its the life that you live,
Its not what you buy,
Its in what you make,
Your life isnt ruled,
By those fools on the take

Chorus:
In this needy old world
In which we live,
Its not what you have,
But its all in what you give.

[V2]
Its not what you say
Its all in what you do,
Words can decieve
But your deeds will ring true
Its not how you act,
Its how you feel,
Deceit is a lie,
Love and Compassion are real

Chorus:
Its a needy old world,
That much is true,
Its not what you say,
Its all in whatever you do.

[v3]
Its not if you loved
But if you love,
Do you do what you can,
With Lords help from above,
Its not if your Fake,
Its if your Real,
Its amazing the difference,
A kind hand can deal

Chrous:
In this needy old world,
In which we are shoved,
Its not if you Love
But how you are loved.

eddiez152 · #19 July 13th, 2007

I will think about the last chorus.
For now, got some preliminery work to do.

Paul Jeffs · #20 July 13th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by eddiez152

I will think about the last chorus.
For now, got some preliminery work to do.

Good Good.. i'll have a think tomorrow too.. Shoved .. it just dosnt feel right lol.. ah well.. i'll leave you to it.. and thanks again.

Ellenback1 · #21 July 14th, 2007

In this needy old world,
In which we are shoved,
Its not if you Love
But how you are loved.

How about something along these lines:

In this needy old world,
In which we are pushed,
It's not if you love,
But whether you touched

Not an exact rhyme, but if you can vary your last line, you get more possibilities.

Just my two cents! I love the lyrics, Paul, they were meant to be, and I definitely surrender and agree with the positive feel behind them!

Elle

Ellenback1 · #22 July 14th, 2007

And I'd like to do a take on this one as well, IF I get some time!

Elle

Paul Jeffs · #23 July 14th, 2007

Thanks ellie, I'd love to hear what you come up with..

After a little peace down by the lake today.. i think the final chorus .. instead of

Quote:

Chrous:
In this needy old world,
In which we are shoved,
Its not if you Love
But how you are loved.

its looking like

Chorus:
In this crazy old world
Of push and shove,
Its not if your loved,
But if you love.

At least for now...

Paul Jeffs · #24 July 14th, 2007

or even..

In this needy old world when,
Push comes to shove,
Its not if your loved,
Its if you love.

eddiez152 · #25 July 14th, 2007

Paul,

Good change. I like it.

Paul Jeffs · #26 July 14th, 2007

lol.. Took all day to come up with the first one.. post it.. and then... lol

I prefer it.. never did like shoved...

X4StringDrive · #27 July 14th, 2007

Good lyrics Paul Jeffs, looks like you got some writing skills on ya....
You also got some real good help there in Those two {Eddie & Elle} and I seen JayJay looking in....when you really gotta rock, get JayJay on the clock.

Welcome aboard PJ...Nice to have ya here.

Paul Jeffs · #28 July 15th, 2007

Thanks X4,

lyrics are definatly my stronger suit at the moment.. i found it hard swapping from poetry to songs.. but i'm getting there i think

knight46 · #29 July 16th, 2007

Paul,
Good job on the lyrics. Poetry and songs are a lot alike but different. More to think about with songs, not just the metre of the piece but also how it fits with the music. Good start, this should be a good one.

Paul Jeffs · #30 July 18th, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight46

Paul,
Good job on the lyrics. Poetry and songs are a lot alike but different. More to think about with songs, not just the metre of the piece but also how it fits with the music. Good start, this should be a good one.

Thanks knight... this is my first real attempt at a proper song rather than poetry.. though i have a lot of unfinished lyrics i need to get back to... I think some of the lyrics ive got unfinished have much more to them than this piece.. so thats looking good for the future