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Old July 21st, 2007
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fly135 fly135 is offline
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Playing guitar for over a year.
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
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Location: Orlando, FL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allthumbs View Post
I would change these two lines.

Its not if you love
Its if your loved,
to
It's not if your loved,
It's if you love.

To love without a pay off is a more evolved spiritual state.
Nice work. It could use a chorus or bridge.
Plus the original conflicts philosophically with beginning of the first verse.

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