Hug me like you care - Page 4

Jomi · April 8th, 2007

I live and work in the north east of England and my job takes me all over the region. One day I came across a very pretty young woman lying on the ground, I tried for a while to rouse her but there was no response, I was going to phone for an ambulance when a young boy aged about 10 or 11 in a school uniform came up and told me it was ok, she was his mother and she was 'high', she'd be ok in a while. He sat beside her and stroked her hair and rubbed her hands to warm them. I walked on my way through a land of smashed bottles and boarded windows, I didn't realise at the time but it had affected me deeply, I can still picture the scene like it was yesterday.

I'd like to write more songs and I'd appreciate your comments including criticism, be gentle but don't hold back (he says, quaking).
I know that a bit of my local accent comes through in the song, is that good or bad?

thanks,

John

737blues · #46 April 13th, 2007

To me , the song is always about the boy.

Maybe you could meet someone
and he could be my Dad,
and we could live together

like the family we once had

Is it perhaps the last line that's not quite right, because it assumes there was once a family but in fact, that is what the boy has never had? Maybe his father was just another guy who took advantage of his mothers weakness and that's why he doesn't want you, or any other man to 'help' his mother. He's probably seen that end badly too many times already.

To me, that verse is the boy's frustration, in that he senses his mother will never meet a strong and honest guy, until she sobers up, but she can't do that without the help of such a guy. Catch 22.

Either way, great song.

Baldy · #47 April 13th, 2007

That is beutiful......Thank you for sharing it with us.

bolerama · #48 April 14th, 2007

Hi Jomi, I listened to your song today and really enjoyed it. The type of lyric I like is one which gives an image- the sparkling glass, for instance. It's juxtapostion with what I imagine the area in which you found the woman was like gives it a special power. The fact that it's repeated only lends it more power. I agree with one of the other members that there's a bit of Dougie McLean in the guitar phrasing.

Nice work.

Bolerama

Jomi · #49 April 15th, 2007

Thank you again to everyone for the comments.

737blues
Thank you for that, I think you're exactly right, I just couldn't put it into words.

John

skinnybloke · #50 April 15th, 2007

Thats the best new song Iv'e heard in a long time, radio included.

frewgosh · #51 April 15th, 2007

Jomi, that was a very poignant and soul-renching wee song ou have there. Your accent made it all the more authentic and it helped me not only see the streets but I could almost smell them!!
I agree with LC Jones, you do remind me of Dougie McLean and that is some compliment. I also agree that you have a real talent for melody and a way of observing the world that is a real gift.
I hope to hear more
Well done mate, first class

eddiez152 · #52 April 15th, 2007

Jomi,

I listened to Dougie MacLean's work, and Les and frewgosh both hit that on the head. You got the voice.

Jomi · #53 April 16th, 2007

Thanks again for the very flattering comments, I really appreciate them (who wouldn't?).

I honestly think my vocals are quite weak, fortunately I have microphones, preamp and software to beef things up a bit, it's surprising what a bit of reverb can do!

Aunt Doty · #54 April 17th, 2007

Jomi, I just have to comment again! Congrats on getting the recording of the week! I like it as it is, but also like the verse you left out. I was wondering if you added one word if it would make the perspective clearer? ie: Mom, your face is really pretty............??????????
I'm definitely not a song writer so that's just an off the cuff idea that wouldn't change your song too much. Anyway great job!!

Jomi · #55 April 18th, 2007

Aunt Doty,
Thank you very much for your kind comments.
If I added the word; with my North East England accent, it
would be Mam and not Mom, in the USA that could easily be
confused with ma'am, ......convinced?

You've got me thinking now though, I could use Ma,
my son says it all the time when he talks about his mother,
what do you think?

Lcjones · #56 April 18th, 2007

I think 'Mam' over mom or ma... in keeping with the flavor of language.

2 cents worth....

**

Aunt Doty · #57 April 18th, 2007

Never thought of the different sound because of the accent (which I love) but yeah Ma could work!! It's what you think since it's your song!!!

__tsidewinder__ · #58 April 18th, 2007

The sound quality was excellent, the vocals and guitar work was excellent, and the song itself was excellent.

I'm looking forward to another song of yours.

mickyboy100 · #59 April 18th, 2007

hi jomi from one durham lad to another that was fantastic i agree with
LC very dougie mclean the accent made it for me if you make a cd i'll buy it

Jomi · #60 April 19th, 2007

Thanks Tsidewinder,

Thanks Mickeyboy100, Most of the stuff I sing is other peoples, so I'm busy writing another to post on the site, that'll be a grand total of 3, so it'll be a while before the CD lol.