It is difficult to comment on someones' work. I hear this more as a ballad than alt rock. I think it could be simplified a bit depending on the music.
Take one step back now,
look at our lives three years in the making,
ups and downs,
our minds always changing,
but in the end i look to you,
feel the way i always do,
and then i know its meant to be,
just you and me we breathe
such as
One step back now, ( taking a step back implies changing minds,up and down etc.so I
looking at our lives, simpled it down to give it more of a flow when sung) I am not
but in the end, sure that breath line is right for this tune)
I look at you,
the way I always do,
It's just you and me,girl. or something like that.
Kind of a mixed feel in the next verse.
Breathe, the air in around us,
a melody so sweet,
were caught in a blinding rush,
were swept off our feet,
Breathe, my hand slips into yours,
a melody so sweet,
our hearts begin to soar,
as our eyes, they meet.
Kind of implying that melody is like a perfume of flowers and then the blinding rush and swept off our feet suggests a hurricane. In your first verse, it is implied that this relationship has been on going so a sudden rush and swept off is more indicitive of a new love.
As you can see,it is pretty subjective deciding the way a song will go. It might help if you chose who is singing this A man contemplating his long standing love interest or someone newly in love. You could combine the two by having him describe how being around her is like being with a new love.
Just some thoughts. Feel free to totaly disregard them. Like I said we all have a different vision of how songs come together.
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